The Bipolar Lisp Programmer | Hacker News Reader

The Bipolar Lisp Programmer

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50 pointssmanek15 comments

Read this some time ago, and disagreed with the depressive look at things.

I often go through phases where I don't feel like doing anything. That's more than made up by the fact that when I do feel like working, I work harder and faster than 20 people.

Peaks and troughs are not a problem so long as you learn to deal with them.

Daniel

I have the same problem, but the dealing with them is the hard bit. Depression isn't the sort of thing that you can easily shrug off or power through, and the inability to do so can make for a nasty, self-reinforcing cycle.

What makes it worse for programmers is that our work is essentially creative in nature; progress is not defined by the number of bricks laid or the length of the ditch dug. It isn't possible to switch off your mind and just work at the task; you need to come to the compiler with your 'A' game.

On top of this, it really isn't possible to tell your clients that their projects are going to arrive N weeks behind schedule, because you're depressed. Well, it is possible, but not if you want to keep them.

One of the ways I deal with things, is to try and do maintenance tasks that generate 'little successes' throughout the day. So, even though my code isn't working the way I want it to, getting something else done tends to help get me back in the right frame of mind. Doing simple sysadmin tasks, or just spending half an hour tidying up my office a bit, or making dinner for a friend... it all helps out a lot.

Climbing has also been a big boon for me, because it's a very mental sport, can offer a string of 'easy successes' through bouldering, and provides some much-needed exercise and social interaction to the day.

But until I found ways to help myself deal with things, I could spend months off-line. Depression can be a very real problem, and for people who don't have good coping mechanisms, it is utterly crippling.

Who are you? Are you my twin? I have exactly the same problem with programming, do the little tidying up actions almost reflexively now, AND I climb as well. Absolutely love that climbing all in your head.

Joking aside, I'm a sophomore in college now, and I closely approximate the 'brilliant failure' model (a little arrogant to say that though!). High school was a breeze, but suddenly you can't not do homework anymore. Classes are not going well and either the depression started first or the lazy/bored attitude did; either way, it's a death spiral. Takes a ridiculous amount of brain power to stop it.

Hm that was an impromptu rant, sorry.

I know that can be a tough thing. Make sure you can find someone to talk to about it. Doesn't make it magically go away, but it helps.

I suspect that the "brilliant failure" model is a bit of a Barnum profile (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forer_effect). I suspect most reasonably smart university students feel that way at some point in their careers.

Well, one of the things you need to do is to ensure you set the right expectations in the people you work with (whether clients or otherwise). If you know that you can't work 100% all the time, don't set yourself up to deliver as if you could. Make sure deadlines are appropriately fuzzy and flexible, and take on the kind of jobs where this is appropriate.

For instance, one of my clients is quite happy to be flexible as to when I do the work for him, because I always do get it done and get it done faster, better, and cheaper than his other alternatives.

Finally, when in a down phase, what I find is I can't concentrate on "big stuff" - things like coding a big piece of functionality, that requires a lot of concentration and follow-through, and I simply can't summon the motivation to do it when I'm in a trough. But there are many other things that need to be done in life (particularly if you're running your own business) and a programming 'down' phase is a great time to power through those on auto-pilot... things like paperwork, blogging, reading, calling on people (clients or not), tidying up your office/home, doing some sport, etc.

Daniel

I'm not sure if this is so much 'lisp character' as it is the character of people working on or in something esoteric, challenging, and powerful.

Slight drift: Tarver's current project accompanied by a fascinating read. www.lambdassociates.org/FPQi.pdf

First time reading this. I found it completely amazing.

is there any other kind?

Yes. Visit a Lisp user group near you and you'll encounter a variety of personalities.

http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20012

http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=78739

That's fair, but it was the first time I'd seen it. I found it enjoyable and insightful, and I'm not exactly new to this internet thing.

To add on to that, both those posts are many days old. I've seen this before and I still voted up this post, just because I like it so much. I think there might be a need to relax rules about duplicates, when they appear many days apart.

It is interesting how highly posts dealing with depression get ranked here. Must mean most here fit the bipolar lisper, making this post kinda ironic.

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