This behaviour - and perhaps other causes with similar issues for desktop users, is what drove me away from helping to make Linux ‘ready for the desktop’. The kernel philosophy was incompatible with the needs of desktop users. Those developing for the desktop (like myself) didn’t have the required expertise to make the kernel do the Right a Thing, and couldn’t find enough people willing or able to help.

Things may have changed over the years - I’ve been running a Linux desktop recently and haven’t seen this kind of issue yet (the kind where you need to use magic keys to ask the kernel to kill all, sync and reboot) but reading your post, perhaps this is because RAM is much more plentiful these days.