Comment by BigHatLogan | Hacker News Reader

Comment by BigHatLogan | Hacker News Reader

Be more conscientious about planning my days--and therefore my weeks, months, and years. I have been out of school for five years now and I noticed recently that time feels like it slipped through my fingers like water. I hardly know where it went. Of course I know logically where it went--I was living them, after all--but in some respect it feels like somebody else was living them because I lived without aim or purpose or direction, simply taking things day by day.

I deal with a lot of uncertainty and over-intellectualizing things and over-analyzing things, and I've realized that none of that has actually helped me move in my life, whether forwards or backwards. I've sort of stood in place, but you never really stand in place because things move whether you want them to or not, so in some way I've stagnated.

I want 2019 to be the year that I put an end to living like this, and instead give myself some direction to go in, whether I can see the end or not. I've been paralyzed by my inability to make decisions, and I want to put an end to that by forcing myself to make some decisions--things related to my career, side projects, health, etc.

Anyway, I'll quit rambling. I just don't want to keep living on autopilot as I am right now.

That’s a wonderful goal and resonates with me as well. Your first and second points stand in direct contrast to each other - being more conscientious and deliberate without over intellectualizing and dealing with decision paralysis. You might benefit from talking to a counselor or someone who can help prevent you from getting stuck thinking in circles.

I didn't even notice that, but I think you're right--the two points don't play well with each other.

I think what I meant to say is that what I tend to do is debate between doing multiple things, but then I end up doing none of them. I try to think things through--which thing would be best? which would help me the most?--but ultimately I sit there idly watching things go right past me. My goal in being more conscientious and deliberate is to cut through the decision paralysis and pick a decision and try to see it through to the end. What you mentioned resonates with me--getting stuck in thinking circles. I have been doing that for the past few years and maybe even the past decade if I'm being honest with myself. It hasn't been a pleasant place to be in, to say the least.

You should read the book The Slight Edge. It talks about the mindset to achieve what you're looking for.

And now my reading list has 283 items.

Just an extra nugget of food for thought - I'm all for "seeing [something] through to the end," as it shows a lot of grit and determination. But in your quest for being more decisive and deliberate, you can also give yourself room to fail or to quit or to change your mind. The road to success isn't always built on a single decision that you follow straight through like an arrow to a destination. Your path may meander, and your destination may change. It's all part of the journey. When his kids occasionally seemed "stuck," my father used to tell us "You don't have to take the perfect step, just take a step in the direction you think you want to go. Maybe it'll be right, maybe it won't, but then you look around, make a decision, take the next step and keep moving."

I think it’s not necessarily in contrast - what works for you may vary but I think that’s only the case when the time and energy it takes to make a decision isn’t part of your calculus. It’s good to be conscientious when you’re making decisions, especially weighty ones, so long as you don’t get stuck in a loop making that decision, which itself has a cost in your quality of life.

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