Eh it’s better, but don’t kid yourself, it’s still pretty terrible.

Still too aggressive, still too personal. The reprimand part of this email really shouldn’t have been made public. The tone used was not necessary to convey the ideas he was trying to communicate.

Don’t get me wrong, the lack of direct insults/namecalling is definitely an improvement, but I’d personally still hate to work with someone who chooses to communicate to their subordinates this way.