The problem is that without Facebook you will miss out. Sure, close friends and family will invite you to their social events, but more distant acquaintances will not; you know, the bloke you met at the pub last week and had a 20 minute chat with, or that cute girl you talked to but then she suddenly she was dragged off to a birthday party by her friends. By missing out on the social opportunities you lose the chance to upgrade these people from acquaintances to friends (or even lovers), as well as meet new people.
Some back story: I moved to a different country two years ago with my ex-girlfriend (for her job), and we both didn't really know anyone there. I work remote, so I don't meet a lot of people from work, either.
We broke up after a year and much to my dismay I discovered I had not really made any new friends in that year, and that I was quite ... alone. So I set out to change that. Facebook – as much as I dislike the company – was helpful. I moved to yet another country two month ago, and again Facebook has been helpful.
I dislike Facebook for all the standard reasons. I had an account but I deleted it about 5 or 6 years ago, but I decided that having a good social life was (and remains) vastly important to the quality of my life, and that Facebook is a tool to help achieve that goal.
(Facebook didn't really "delete" my old account, as after I rejoined it remembered many of my previous friends; some of whom I had no contact with outside of Facebook, like many Egyptians I was in contact with during the 2011 rebellion whom I had met through a friend and only knew through Facebook; my "suggested friends" list was full of Arabic names).
On a more deeper level, I am a little bit exasperated of always being the "different" and "difficult" person (which extends to things beyond Facebook). Standing up for your principles and "voting with your wallet" is good and all, but ... I'm not so sure it's all that effective. In this case, a more effective strategy is probably to first create a really good Facebook alternative (I'm not so sure there is one now), make sure decent privacy laws are enacted, etc.
Do you happen to live in Europe, by chance?
Hate to break it to you, but he's not really your friend. You would have known about it directly or through someone else if so. Facebook is for finding out about events / people who aren't close to you, but you're still interested in. That's its value.
That's plain lazy thinking, it's completely giving up on your privacy-aware friends because Zuckerberg makes doing that so so easy. What a surprise.
We all choose our own battles and our own hills to die on.
And deep down, I suspect many of us (or at the very least "me") choose those battles and hills for not entirely rational or "for the greater good" reasons.
Having said that, if your battle is feminism you don't remain engaged with and support "locker room talk". If your battle is veganism you don't remain engaged with groups of butchers or hunters. One of my battles is privacy - I'm not going to support or enable surveillance capitalism, even though I know the social cost I'll incur there.
There's an unkind stereotype about vegans "Hoe do you know if someone's a vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you..." - but that reveals an admirable trait shared by "them" collectively, if you aren't speaking out for what you believe in - you're enabling and maintaining things which you do not believe in.
In a world with email, SMS, and iMessage I do not fear being left out by my true friends.
Precisely this. A type of thinking which includes Facebook being a persons only means of communication is very simplistic. While there are some unusual user cases -- such as my coworker who had to use wi-fi for Messenger -- and they pop up in certain circumstances, I do not think this is as widespread as some make it out to be. To explain my standing, it comes from my observation of hearing people say using Messenger is "easier" and they're able to stay in contact with people they may not want to on a more personal level (i.e. SMS, voice calls) or they are international.
That's one use case, I don't think it's the only one though.
You'll get the benefits of Facebook (real identity with almost everyone on the platform, events, groups, etc.) without loosing hours reading crap on the news feed.
1. Events: Facebook's provides a streamlined experience for hosting events and all my friends use it for birthday parties, house warming and so on.
2. Groups: Facebook's group experience is quite good and I am a part of 4 groups of like minded people that I get to have conversations with quite frequently.
I’m sure he thinks that I’m a real heel as a result. Screw Facebook.
I just learn to focus on what is actually important and fortunately I have people that keep me in mind so that I don't get completely lost. Simply being married solves for much of this.
There is a price to pay for sticking to your principles.
What is the worst thing though, it's installing one of the Facebook's apps on your smartphone. Because then you basically give up the entire private data of your day-to-day life.
(I imagine, very few people have actually seen the full permission list of Facebook for Android, which includes almost every single possible one.)
I know we've lost that fight - but it doesn't mean it's not worth resisting.
If that's the main reason to quit Facebook, the question should have been: "Did you delete your Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp accounts in 2018?". Yet, somehow nobody asks that question.
Not possible, because I did not have any of these accounts in the first place. And I have a pretty normal social life with lots of technology, friends and activity.
Man, missing those events is the BEST part about not being on facebook. I have way more than enough stuff to do, I don't need more things with random people. I have enough time for my wife, my kids, and a few outings a month with friends. I can fill that time easily, the thought of having to politely accept invitations from some bloke you met at the pub sounds horrible.
having a good social life was (and remains) vastly
important to the quality of my life, and that
Facebook is a tool to help achieve that goal.
Standing up for your principles and "voting with
your wallet" is good and all, but ... I'm not so
sure it's all that effective.
Yes, you will. You will miss out on things that are completely fine to miss out.
We need to learn that we can't and shouldn't be everywhere, know about everything, get constantly updated about everyone.
Go to meetups. Find classes. Sign up for a (make|hacker)space instead.
1. One entire side of my extended family relies on it for all familial communications. I was forced to use Facebook Messenger recently to help with wedding planning, for example. These people are addicted to it an have invested everything in it—Facebook knows their entire lives.
2. People post pictures of me on Facebook despite my objections. Continuously. They tag me—despite my objections. With an account, I can make it difficult for an average person to find photos of me.
3. I have zero faith that Facebook will stop tracking me, storing my data, or doing stuff I don’t want them to do if I delete my account. I have zero faith that they’d stop even if I got a court order.
I know several people who work at various positions in Facebook. Every time they talk about the company, it sounds worse and worse. I’m slowly transitioning from, “They’re just another big data miner,” to, “They’re a truly evil company that goes out of their way to be deceptive and would sell their soul—no, my soul—for a cheeseburger.”
Quitting Facebook may not a choice without severe consequences. I'm lucky enough to be able to stay away from Facebook, but I know everyone isn't in the same position. It's important to acknowledge that Facebook is inextricably intertwined with many peoples professional and social lives.
Your workplace may require you to Workplace by Facebook for collaboration. The parents group at your childs school may only communicate via Facebook. Perhaps the bachelors party of a dear friend may be planned via Facebook.
Embarrassment is the last thing you should feel for being trapped by this tyrant.
You know you're living in a time of peace when not having Facebook is considered to have severe consequences.
This is true but also it wasn’t that long ago that going out for a smoke break was vital for people’s professional and social lives
We need to make legislation against this. I know taking pictures in public places is fair game. I also know celebrities are subject to having this information published due to the public nature of their lives. But for those wanting to live private lives, we should be able to ban tagging or indexing and sue those parties that enable this to happen without consent.
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recht_am_eigenen_Bild
(sorry, no English)
You don't have to worry about that legally.
I think it will hurt more if you don't delete the account but don't use it much because it reduces revenue per user, or ad views per user.
In the privacy settings there's a control so that you need to approve taggings of you before they go public.
On retrospect I'm now just sick that I was ever caught up in their "engagement at any expense" Skinner Box to the extent that I was. I'd have Facebook open in one tab and start typing f-a-c in a new one before being aware of what I was doing.
Facebook is digital lead, digital radon, digital asbestos—pick your metaphor. Life is much better without it.
[1] https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/social-book-post-m...
It's hard to not see a relationship. The (lack of) digital footprint and engagement can come back and bite you.
I wouldn't recommend anyone do this. Use whatever automation tools you can find. One thing that was interesting though is that it made me review my "Facebook life" and boy was this depressing. It was more of a digital graveyard of past relationships and memories best left forgotten, than anything else. I deleted all my social media accounts except HN and LinkedIn (because believe it or not, I actually get some good offers there, despite me never having posted anything) the same week, sometime in October I think. It's great, I've read books, took up learning to play the piano and guitar, and just generally feel less anxious about life.
The only downside so far is that mom Is really pissed that she can't spy on my life anymore, and have to call me. Actually nevermind, that too is probably an upside.
(I also deleted everything Google. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.)
So some background. I used facebook as a normal user from 2010 to 2012. I thought it was stupid on day 1 but was peer pressured into it (thanks high school) and by 2012 I still thought it was stupid and useless so I quit.
At various intervals between 2012 and now I've had shitposting accounts. Fake names and fake pictures but most people in the friends list knew who was behind the mask (and frustratingly would address me instead of the mask). At some point I was posing as an over the top Chinese nationalist, reposting everything from China daily and xinhua. Using FB in this quasi anonymous way is so liberating. You're not playing the same status game as all those other suckers. You're free to touch any political third rail. In fact you're touching the third rail just to touch it. You don't even care what you're saying. You can completely make a mockery of the banality which consumes social media. I used to begin posts with "speaking as a mother" despite being very obviously male. It is like you're the only one who sees the emperor has no clothes, and you're sitting there jiggling his willy and everyone else is still insisting he's wearing pants.
Anyway my last account was one "Fiona Lockhardt". Her profile pic was a purple pen which had a smiley face and boobs added in ms paint. For people who know me, Fiona really is the name of my pen. It is a pen that I built but it is also a lockpick. I named it after a girl in the office who was caught stealing things. I would use this account to interject into conversations with ostensibly on topic information but secretly I was making lock puns. I would post sterotypically girly vacation photos but with the pen in various poses such as sitting on an airplane or drinking starbucks.
Importantly, none of the pictures posted were me. 100% of uploaded photos were the pen with a face added in ms paint. So one day facebook decides that something about my login is suspicious. They ask me to upload a picture to confirm my identity. They won't let me upload a picture of the pen because they failed to detect a face in the picture. So I upload a photo of Mark Zuckerberg. It goes to manual review and then my account gets locked. Ironic, Fiona could unlock things for others, but couldn't unlock her own account.
Do I care? No not really. Facebook was just a stupid site on the internet from day 1. It never deserved to be taken seriously.
To me, it's just a website - I wondered how absurd that same question would sound had it been a pistonheads or mumsnet account she was deleting.
There are egg people and onion people. Egg people are knowable once you break the shell, but with onion people there are many layers to peel. I’m one of those people who, despite being outgoing, are hard to know in real life because I communicate much more easily through writing. Friends have told me it’s through my posts that they learn there’s a whole other side of me.
Yes I could start a blog or send emails, but everyone knows it’s not the same.
To me there’s inhererent utility in a platform like Facebook for introverts. If there was another platform that’s as widely accepted I would switch but due to the objective function to monetize, any company going down this path will be faced with the same ethical challenges.
The data scandal was serious and to be honest, needed. It brought data and privacy awareness, countries and even entire continents are now trying to convey regulations on the subject.
Facebook was already superfluous, if you can afford to delete it.
Can’t say I missed it. The things I’ve lost in terms of communication power are far outweighed by the positive effect it has had on my wellbeing and time management. Other than that the effect has been relatively small on my life.
At the time of deletion I had around 700 “friends”, most of which I hadn’t seen in years and many of which I had had no connection after becoming friends on Facebook. Now two months after is feels weird to have used this service daily, when in reality it worked mostly as an address book than a communication platform.
Another thing I noticed was how invested I had become in other people’s lives by mostly just consuming their status updates, stories and pictures. This combined with lack of updates from my side had really distorted my relationship with people, and had me feel more connected to people than I really was. It has wonderful to notice how much more interesting and easier it has become to converse with people when you don’t know what they’ve been up to recently
I've deleted my account in 2017 when I realized that I only care about ~10 of my ~1,000 friends. The behavior you described also happened to me -- a lot. It was quite scary to realize how often I absentmindedly type in Facebook's url every day.
The hardest part about deleting my account was that I had a few deceased people in my friend list. That held me back for a good while (years actually) – because it was a terrifying thought that, no matter if I change my mind and come back, they could never accept a new friend request by me and I would never be able browse their profile again.
I then wrote up a post about my motivation for leaving which I shared on my Facebook: https://nilsnh.no/2018/04/04/leaving-facebook/ I figured it would be better to be vocal about leaving instead of just disappearing without a word. I answered questions and helped some friends join me on Signal.
Personally, I'm happy to be investing more of my time in platforms which respect my privacy. And I eagerly encourage people I meet to consider ethically-minded platforms like Signal.
Ultimately, I hope to see real, legal consequences towards corporations that disrespect the privacy of its users. Also, if monopoly laws were revised for the digital age we might see that some large corporations should be broken up in order to cultivate better competition.
Do you mind if I quote your post (and link to it) if I decide to leave facebook?
How did it go? It might be pointless, but I'm curious of the outcome/reactions
Facebook and Google will soon be eliminated from my life. Amazon will probably be next, but I'm less concerned with Amazon(with the exception of Alexa, which I no longer use).
My Facebook account is still around mostly because much of my family still uses the site and our private group is where most family news, photos, etc. get posted. Otherwise, my account is basically a "husk". Very few of the people I know who are under 40 use it much at all at this point. The site, in relation to my social circle, is tumbleweeds blowing around. I don't know if I'll ever truly delete my Facebook account, but I hardly go to the site and I've purged my phone of all their software.
I have been trying to do that for a while without success. I have to keep Facebook account because of some professional reasons and at personal level I also it useful to look someone up quickly on Facebook if I am not sure who that person is.
As per google some jack ass coworker decides to use google docs and I am forced to keep google account. Sometimes I am also forced to use some google forums for work.
I log in to Facebook Feed maybe once every 2 - 3 months, just to see how the space looks like, always disappointed in how irrelevant the information is to me. No friend posts, no insightful publishing, just randomly shared articles, ads, sponsored content and page suggestions.
I also do Instagram sometimes, that feels a bit more towards what I want in that I can actually see what some friends are doing but seeing my wife and close friends scrolling on and on on their feeds and praising it really makes me wary of immersing myself too much in this gamified addiction center.
I use Facebook Messenger to keep contact with my friends and WhatsApp to talk to my family; I have my track blockers on, I have my ads blocked and notifications disabled on my phone so Facebook is minimally invasive for me. Not sure what point I'm trying to make, I think it's a bit counterproductive deleting your account on the biggest network on the planet. What I think we should be pushing for is people disengaging with their devices and their notifications and being in charge of when they want to connect.
I was once a daily Facebook user, I felt connected, I felt empowered, I felt knowledgeable and I never stopped to consider if it is truly so. The change for me happened when I decided to disable notifications on my phone. Ever since then, I've been a lot better at managing my daily attention and random apps don't really hold my attention any more than what I am willing to offer them.
Again, I'm feeling like I'm rambling without a cohesive thought, so I'll end it with the personal insight that it's not necessary to drop a service as long as you get to control how it works for you. The data mining and shadow profiling are the cost you pay for a free service, but being on it constantly is a choice individuals can make for themselves.
> The data mining and shadow profiling are the cost you pay for a free service
That seems a bit contradictory to me. If you could control how something worked, you could also control what data is being mined and so on. Fact is, you can't; even when you tell Facebook not to, they still manage to find ways to do so.
Also, once upon a time, data mining and shadow profiling were decidedly _not_ the cost we paid for free services. We got either generic advertising or targeted advertising based on the state of the page being visited, not a huge history based on every little thing we've done online.
We do well to remember that the way things are is _not_ always the way things should be, or even have always been. Apathy to our own plight and a short collective memory span are dictatorships' greatest friends.
I agree with this, and this is why I still have a FB account (for now).
> The data mining and shadow profiling are the cost you pay for a free service
I believe the OP was saying that “the way FB mines your data is the cost they charge for their service”, not necessarily that this has always been the cost of every free service, or that this is a cost that everyone should be willing to pay.
It’s more like “if you manage the notifications so it’s only a part of your life when you want it to be, and you understand and are okay with the data mining and shadow profiling they do to support their service, then there’s not much to be gained from deleting your FB account.” At least that’s how I feel (again, for now).
I think Facebook as a service SHOULD have access to how you use the platform AS you use it and if you can stop it from tracking your behavior outside their ecosystem and gamifying your interaction with it, I do believe that there's not that much to gain from deleting your account.
There's an argument to be made for their unethical addiction provoking implementations, but until another platform comes up with a working business model and a lack of psychological tricks, one would be arguing against the windmills.
I can block most of that tracking through various channels, while also using the platform in a way that brings me value. I am feeding Facebook data when using their platform and I believe that is somewhat fair for them, but I am doing my best to build a system that doesn't feed them additional data, which I believe is unethical.
Do I like Facebook as a company and the direction in which it's going and the societal changes it brings? No. Do I think Facebook has 0 value? Again, no. Do I have an alternative service for keeping up with my friends and family apart from our occasional real life meetups? Strangely enough, I don't think I do.
Once upon a time we had simple HTTP servers sending you server rendered pages, in time, it evolved to a complex ecosystem of requests and responses for each page you visit. Part of that is used to offer us services which were unimaginable "back in the days", but with it came the other part where your behavior becomes heavily trackable.
I remember the old internet, I wish that simplicity came back in a way (somehow without the popups, the toolbars and the risk of running apps on your machine instead of in your browsers), but I think that ship has long sailed, and I'm not sure I'm willing to give up the possibilities of today for that.
My condolences. "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
-Epictetus, The Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness
I was a very active user since 2007. and I've made the decision literally overnight and made it into action one week later, after announcing it to friends and downloading my data. I've also sent a canned message to almost all people I have communicated with. It said something like: I'm deleting FB account, here's my email, phone nr and name, as FB will replace my name in that conversation with "Facebook user" when I'm gone.
I've also deleted my Yahoo account 10+ yrs ago, for inserting ads in email signatures and became obsoleted by Google, Linkedin after they sold my data and trust to MS and Twitter when they announced censoring posts.
Google and Amazon accounts could be next.
P.S. I've just signed up here to post this comment (:
Here’s the extension if anyone is interested https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/marathon/nkhecjgkf....
1) Friends in California who keep the social group messaging on Messenger despite pleading with them to migrate so that I can at least uninstall Messenger from my phone. If you have lived in a variety of places, made friends in those places, and it's important to you to keep in touch with them, then they're on Facebook. The End.
2) Facebook properties are huge locally (Tel Aviv). Need to find housing? Facebook groups. Looking for local events? Facebook events. WhatsApp is endemic here: if you get somebody's number, the default is to contact them on WhatsApp. Want to make an appointment? Nobody needs some kind of business-focused WhatsApp - the guy just gets a cheap phone, sets up normal WhatsApp on the number, and publishes that number. Every social group imaginable is on WhatsApp - roommates, work, family, various social groups, coordinating weekly exercise groups, absolutely everything.
I visualize people who quit Facebook as the kind of person who always lived in one place, probably rural, is friendly with a handful of people from work, maybe a couple of people from school/college, and family. Sum total maybe fifty people who they've ever been close to in their life. If they're quitting Facebook, it's because Facebook didn't provide them much added value in the first place. And they either don't live in a place where WhatsApp is huge, or their social group is small enough and close enough that it's not a big deal for them to drop off the grid.
Since leaving, my offline social life improved and I'm more productive, because I don't scroll through newsfeeds, waste time chatting online about things that are not related to work, or think about posting anything on Facebook at all.
I also don't spend time at work on Facebook.
I wasn't using FB a whole lot since it made me feel bad but what pushed me to the edge was their utter contempt for their users.
I doubt it means much given how big of an influence it has in the world however. And I'm not sure I'll get all those productivity benefits since I'll waste time on something else.
After that I was sort of at a loss, but I did delete my account again this year after seeing a link on a thread here that claimed it would “really” allow me to delete my account. I still don’t trust it.
I just asked spotify to remove the link to my bf and for me to use another email. Now fb is no longer connected to my spotify
However I think if you are not on FB, and you don't want to miss out, you need to do some old fashion stuff, like call your friends on the phone if they are long distance, or meet with them in person if they are local. And you'll have to do more of that to not miss out on stuff. You might then have to be more fussy about who you class as friends.
Even given all that I think it is worth giving up FB.
I'd been on it since high school in 2005 and treated it like the new version of MSN Messenger (oh 2002...). After a while it just got stale and it felt like I was pouring way too much of my personal data on to the platform. I think the turning point came after a friend of mine had committed suicide and his profile continued to live on the platform for at least a year. People kept posting to it and it just didn't sit well with me at all and I didn't like the idea of having an FB profile tombstone for myself either.
So, I nuked it. Haven't missed it for a second.
If you only get updates about someone from their social media, you don't really know them. They're a stranger you know far too much about.
They're either going to charge me monthly subscription fees, which would kill the whole business in an instant, or find a way to make a profit off ads.
I mean, what is the alternative? You can pay subscription fees(noone would), or see generic ads(no company would advertise due to next to zero CR).. Either way, facebook is dead.
What makes companies like Facebook, Google etc unique is that, their ability to appease to both sides of the market.
If they don't, they simply cannot exist. And lack of privacy is a price we have to pay if we want these services in our lives.
Maybe I'm morally corrupt. Idk.
I'd be happy to pay for the marginal cost of a quality, highly scaled, private messaging service for me and for everyone I communicate with.
So, Facebook does screw up a lot, most of all they screw their users. The monthly fee might help but at this point I’ve lost most trust.
Well it turns out that people tend to prefer their bubble.
If a bubble is what they want, who am I to judge?
People should be free to make their own decisions.
I also deleted my Twitter account which has been much more cathartic and healthier for me. I was a long time Twitter user, and followed a lot of very liberal people in tech. Unfortunately, after the 2016 election, most of their tweets became political, and my feed was all ranting, whinging, and hate. What’s even worse is that I’m in Australia, so even though I agreed with them, it wasn’t relevant to me.
I don't care much about ethics, Facebook is free to topple governments or play with the very fabric or democracy or whatever — cool stuff to do, I'd join them in a heartbeat. I don't want to be addicted, though.
I was on Orkut for years, then everyone migrated to Facebook, guess what... different tool + same people = poop³.
And since then I've been stuck in a loop of reactivating/deactivating because I do use facebook messenger and logging in from a new device seems to magically turn my account back on. I finally just gave up a month ago and just left it on. However, I did completely break the habit of mindlessly opening facebook when I'm bored. I'm really glad I quashed that habit - once it's gone facebook feels like a pretty lifeless experience when you open it.
In the lead up to deleting facebook, I deleted many "friends," removed all my likes, and deleted every single picture I could.
Unfortunately I can still be seen in pictures others have posted to Facebook.
I will admit that I still have Instagram installed on my phone. I could probably delete it and not miss anything but there are some interesting people I follow.
Then it provided too much info about how my family and co-workers really feel about the world. Turns out ignorance is bliss. I am happier not knowing about their contrail conspiracy theories or their racist Obama cartoons.
Events are also very important to me. My calendar is synced with Facebook so if I click somewhere on "interested" or "going", it syncs into my schedule.
Lastly, the selling community is big and I sell more on Facebook than on Craigslist.
We can argue the virtues of becoming disconnected until the cows come home, but practically speaking, I still rely on my family and friends for a lot of things. Putting myself on radio silence is not an option.
I've been spending the past couple days looking into what options I have available to continue using Facebook whilst never visiting the website or using its apps. Most positive options seem to involve using a bridge to another service.
You're (deeply) conflating disconnecting from FB with disconnecting from communication. These are not remotely the same thing.
My family and friends know I'm not on FB and so they call me, they text me, they even email me. In 3+ years the fact that I'm not in FB has presented zero difficulty for me or the people and groups I want to communicate with.
Nobody I know uses email for actual communication, and no amount of me sending them emails is likely to change that. Further, I don't pay for therefore don't use text messages, and the majority of people I know don't use Apple devices so can't use a free service like iMessage to contact me.
I'm also not planning to sign up for another service just to replace another, nor do I think I could reasonably convince anybody to follow me to another service aside from WhatsApp which wouldn't be much of an improvement, really.
I'm glad you've managed to have zero difficulties. However, if it were really so simple for me, I would have already pulled the trigger long ago. Someone else's anecdote has no relevance to my situation just as my anecdote has no relevance to anybody else.
So please don't tell me what I'm conflating. I know my own business best.
If everyone thought that way we'd be in sorry shape. Oh, wait...
I deleted the app from my phone and then logged out of all browsers few months after that (i dont know my FB password as it’s stored in my pwd manager so it makes checking FB tad harder). I feel I have a lot more time for other stuff and more focus at work especially.
The only reason why I wont delete my account is that I live abroad and this is the easiest way to stay in touch with family/close friends, especially my non-tech saavy mother. So Im only using Messenger.
I find it more important to learn how to “free myself” from the phone addiction than just deleting a FB account and this is what Ive been working on recently.
Most/many of the contacts I then migrated to email and birthdays to my calendar/reminders. I’m happier keeping in touch with people this way.
If you delete your account, which I did in about 2006 and maybe again in 2008 or so, people thought I specifically unfriended only them, and were mad at me.
I would love to see the network (list of people), and connections (friends) to be separated from facebook itself.. so that you could use different websites to still find the full list of people and friends, but didn't need to go through facebook for everything.
My girlfriend still gets Facebook invites for things but increasingly we get email invites for parties and similar. I get my news more actively through browsing sources now; I navigate to Pitchfork or a subreddit for music stuff.
It's easier than it sounds; people will find a way to get in touch and new people you meet will just be fine with texting.
It turns out that Facebook is fundamentally required if you want to schedule events which contain a lot of individuals. At first I assumed I would only use it for messaging/coordination. But then I decided I liked having the ability to post jokes.
I have also found it easy to filter out all of the nonsensical political argumentation. But that's probably because I have personally learned to just not argue.
In May, when I’m in Ireland I’ll be filing a request for my data to see what remains.
I did find out recently that you can now delete your 'Facebook profile' but keep your login just for Messenger' though.
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I needed to buy FB ads for a project I was working on, so I signed up with a brand new email address. Immediately after signing up, it was messaging people in my old network that I had joined facebook and suggesting they add me as a friend. Really creeped me out. I just wanted to join so I could buy ads and have zero contact with other people.
So I immediately deleted it and decided I was going to live without facebook ads.
I get the benefits of Facebook (real identity with almost everyone on the platform, events, groups, etc.) without loosing hours reading crap on the news feed.
Yet, as someone who deeply cares about privacy (and strongly despises Facebook) but is also involved in some causes where connecting with other people (many strangers) helps, I use Facebook only for those purposes.
I don’t post anything personal, though Facebook would have my number because of all the other people uploading their address books to it. I use Facebook as a focused tool, and not to kill time by scrolling and clicking/tapping and watching videos that are ultimately wasteful in every way. Luckily, I don’t have a big social circle that’s only on Facebook, and if there are events that are only on Facebook, I don’t mind missing those. People who need to connect can always email me or call me.
Network effects aside, the user experience is very important. Without that, there’s no hope of making people try something else and having them stick with it. After all, many people have moved from Orkut to Friendster to MySpace to Facebook to Instagram to Snapchat and then back and what not. Anything that wants to replace Facebook should invent a new paradigm for communication and connection and/or should come as a complete replacement (“batteries included”).
It's how we plan social events at the facility I barbell at, the local Atari club I belong to etc.
It's how I find out about local shows without having to monitor local venue websites which may or may not be updated (some haven't been updated in years).
Most of my friends no longer live anywhere near me in Indy. I have friends in Australia, New Zealand, Florida, San Francisco, Germany, England, Hungary... Facebook is how I see what is going on in their lives and Facebook messenger is how I keep in touch with all of the ones now outside of the United States.
I don't mindlessly scroll through. People and pages that are important to me are marked as 'see first'. When I open Facebook I'll scroll 5-10 posts (a few times a day) unless I'm waiting on an appointment/oil change/whatever and then I'll scroll past that.
As far as privacy concerns... yeah I don't care. My domain is my name, my username just about everywhere is my name, if I share it online I don't care if every single human being alive sees it. If I don't want people seeing it, I... don't share it online.
I downloaded my data and started deleting everything. I started messaging friends to ensure I had up to date contact info. Then I realised it was just easier to leave the account alone.
Never look at it at work anymore, don’t post anything other than the occasional article on how social media is bad for your health!
You quickly learn who your real friends are - we have long phone conversations every few months instead. Much more satisfying and meaningful. Interacting through a screen is an extremely poor substitute for a phone or face to face conversation.
Attention span improved, extremely focused at work.
When I drop back in I always see the same small subset of people posting the same kind of thing: they’re evidently consistently bored or addicted, and there is very little of value there.
Still use messenger a bit, but use Signal and SMS as much as possible.
Completely stopped using instagram, it’s a whole extra level of narcissism that I can’t stand.
I’d love to see some competition in this space. Small simple apps for chat and photo albums and status updates, chronologically ordered, with a small monetisation fee / freemium model. Please, someone bring back functional social networks.
Thankfully, Facebook has https://messenger.com where I can log in every 1-2 months to reply to messages I've gotten there (Which are mostly either long lost friends trying to get back in touch or the dreaded "Hey how are you? PS I need a favor" type messages)
Sure, I probably miss out on knowing whats going on in everyone's life, but I think with age (hit my mid 20s), I've leaned more towards cultivating a fixed set of "good, stable, bankable" friends instead of 1500 contacts (which was my FB when I quit), and the quality of life improvement has been massive for me. As they say, FB makes you compare your backreel with everyone's highlights and that has a massive psychological impact. I've gained back hours of time which I used to spend scrolling endlessly on the "infinite" timeline and managed to use large parts of it to do things that truly enrich me.
Fact is that FB has reached a point of "uncool" in the younger generation (I know people 6-7 years younger to me who wouldn't be caught dead on FB simply because it's not cool) and more and more people are moving off of FB, or using it more as a secondary network (again, only applicable for my network), so in many ways, I feel that leaving FB today is much easier than a couple years ago (leaving the FB network of Whatsapp/Instagram as well is a different question).
I've made a real effort to actually connect with the friends I love and want to spend time with, and to text, call, email, write or visit them - all of which are much more impactful than a 'like on fb. I've 'lost out' on interacting with the huge group of friends that I had on Facebook, but you know what, they weren't friends, they were just people I knew or knew of. My real friends I've actually spent a hell of a lot more time with and on. And going from 500 to a 1000 people to 10 to 20 certainly felt like a downgrade at first but within a few weeks I was obvious that it was vastly better for me.
Although happy and successful in many ways, Facebook left me feeling anxious and like I wasn't keeping up. With things that I didn't care about. Talking in person removes all of that.
I've not yet deleted as I've not yet bothered to pull all my details off there, and I like to return just to tell people that it is OK to leave the party ;)
I don't have any of the apps installed and none of my browsers are specifically logged into facebook.com (just messenger.com which is likely just the exact same cookie/tracking wise).
Mind you, it's basically the illusion of freedom because I use Instagram every so often which is another Facebook owns product so I'm still in the ecosystem.
I did delete my Facebook account around mid-2017 but the utility of it pulled me back in once I started my job/moved to the city earlier this year. Whoever referred to it as a "human pokedex" wasn't wrong.
As long as you feed it a little, it'll give you quite a bit in return. For example, you could meet a total stranger at a party and only learn their first name. Using that, mixed with your own geolocation and social network, is usually enough to find out who they were. While it is publically available information (in a sense because it's still inside a walled garden), I don't think most people realise how little work is needed to track down who someone is.
That in itself isn't particularly useful of course. Anyway, I'm just rambling at this point haha
I did install Android on my 'phone when it was first released, but at the time its keyboard was hard-coded to specific hardware (the G1 had a physical "jump" button that my 'phone doesn't have, and this was required for typing punctuation). I uninstalled it and went back to Debian, haven't looked back :)
Yep.
> If so how does that all work?
I just installed QtMoko ( http://qtmoko.sourceforge.net )
> What sort of phone do you use?
An OpenMoko Freerunner ( http://wiki.openmoko.org/wiki/Neo_FreeRunner )
The main reason I didn't delete it yet is that I just started my vacation to Iceland and wanted to make sure I can arrange meetings with my friends here for Christmas and New Year's.
My plan was, and still is, to delete it on New Year's eve.
I did do a bunch of research on different messaging apps before announcing my intention to delete Facebook so that I could point those that want it to another app.
Here on the west coast of Canada it's really hard. Everyone uses Facebook messenger for chatting. I am definitely going to lose contact with a number of people when I pull the trigger.
Between email, SMS, Discord (along with Steam and Battle.net to a lesser degree), and Wire I should have a way to contact most of the people I currently chat to.
It's really hard though and my wife isn't enthusiastic about it as she wants me to stay in contact with her family and they basically just use Facebook. They also live in another country so SMS is more costly.
Will be interesting to see how much it effects me next year.
1. got it logged out on devices.
2. Wrote a script and used it to unfollow all the people and pages I follow.
3. Clicked not interested for a few days after on any ads or things that FB tried to still force into my news feed
1 month later I found I have no urge to visit the network anymore. I pop over there once a week or so when I want to check the FB page of a restaurant or to see events happening around me but I'm 100% in control of how I use the network.
I'd love to delete it for privacy reasons, but there's a lot of value to be had in the network which I can't truly be rid of.
Some other notes: FB's behaviour becomes pathologically "interesting" when it senses it's losing your engagement. You get to see just how many paths it tries to take to draw you back in. Right now it's down to what I believe is the last resort. My notifications are filled up whenever I choose to login to FB. And they are filled with "person X posted something". I never click them but I imagine that to someone still trying to wean themselves off FB, it'd be an effective way of trying to pull them back in.
Facebook is also informational ( Problem of Fake News ). Those hipster who like Sanpchat? Where were they now? The so call next gen didn't like WhatsApp and Facebook? What do they use when they are finally out of college? The thing I love about working is that it these people will have to adopt to OUR way of working ( Gosh that sounds old, as if like I was forced to use Lotus Notes for email ) but seriously Snapchat and IG just cant be used much for work because information density is too low. It might be good for entertainment. Twitter and Facebook is still king.
So I didn't delete my Facebook. It is still useful without replacement. I am waiting to see if deleting Facebook is still a Silicon Valley / nerds movement or actual real world movement.
But I don't plan on deleting it since I may have a use for it some day and I would like to have that option just in case.
What bothers me more than Facebook though are all these self-righteous people, that obviously know more than everyone else, calling on everybody to quit FB. It's almost a religion to them. MYOFB.
The impact on my life is not large. It’s muted but palpable, I don’t consider myself “better” than anyone else, which is usually the implication that Facebook-account holders seem to have.
1. It was taking too much time than supposed to take. 2. There are lots of information on a page which actually I don't want to see or read.
Yeah, sometimes I fill like I'm missing something when my friends taking each other like, "Oh, you did this and that. I saw your photos on fb". But, hey it is okay to not present everyplace, right!
In 2018 I got rid of whats app and the smartphone. This one involved a sacrifice, being farther away from my friends. But I got so much in exchange. Time, presence, big reduction in anxiety, contact with people, compassion. Got my life back.
I get to call and visit my friends and really enjoy talking to them.
After a while, and with all the data scandals, I deleted all my posts and requested Facebook to cancel my account.
I was hesitant at first but realized I never use it, and I'd be better off without it.
It took some time and the expense of a few airline tickets, but the result was more than worth it.
In many ways, I preferred Facebook and other social medias when my family members were not following me on the platforms. I am an adult and nearly 30 years old, but it feels a bit like your parents watching you at your first school dance. That is, it's hard to be yourself when you're worried what people think. This includes peers, but maybe it's easier to brush off the opinions of non-relatives than it is relatives.
Just coz I did not think they provided value compared to the effort I had to put in, at least on LinkedIN.
It was weird initially just unlocking the cellphone and not having that now-learned-pattern of unlock->facebook subconsciously and then do whatever I was going to do.
Do I miss it? No. Do I miss updates? Yes.
A lot of times my friends msg me (SMS / Whatsapp mostly) that so and so has happened so get in touch with the person to congratulate / condolences. I fear the that once my friends stop informing me and I'll be uninformed of anything major regarding any of the acquaintances, for real.
I did not delete it, since I do use it for login to many sites and many friends, coworkers and groups that I find relevant use it, however I took few effective steps that almost eliminated its usage:
- turning of notifications
- removing the app from the main screen, and putting it in a random folder (I tried deleting it, but for 2FA I need to have its key generator, so I keep the app)
This is it. I just checked and in the past week, I used it 14 minutes on mobile, and probably around the same time on desktop.
My usage is quite low profile, I tend to post a picture every few months, and check out some groups, but nothing more than that.
Instagram on the other end is becoming problematic as its becoming a main social network for almost all of my friends and it is really easy to get sucked into it.
My wife still has Facebook, but she rarely mentions any interesting friend/family news sources from Facebook. It seems that Facebook is slowly becoming a Ghetto.
I have less than 200 FB friends, and most I know very well or follow them because they post very interesting stuff. I don't, and never have, used FB on my phone.
This has made using FB enjoyable for me because I know what data they have. It's only what I let them have, and it's not really all that much.
I don’t miss it and am quite happy that I got around to it and that a one-time cost of 45 minutes of my time has likely paid itself back twice over by now.
Unfortunately I don't see myself getting rid of Whatsapp any time soon. For the vast majority of people around me, it's the only means of communication they will use (aside from face to face, of course). I'm sad that people would not use email for personal communication any more, but I guess that my preferences have become obsolete.
I also deleted my Google account when getting an iPhone, and deleted my Twitter account (that was the thing I felt most — in a very positive way, I'm much less angry all the time).
Ever since that I realized I need to go back to the internet and actively trace my interests - music, concerts, art, etc. I nearly forgotten how to do it, but it's worth it.
As for "missing out": never happened. If I was interested in doing something, I found a way to find it. Random invitations did not get to me, true, but that is OK.
Losing "friends": I know a lot less of everyday nonsense. Turned out nobody was using facebook to share their real life or thoughts any more. Exchanging a few emails, meeting up, even if it's once a bluemoon, makes a complete difference.
I’m also resisting signing up to the corporate version despite some pressure from the company I work for.
I do not miss Facebook in any way, nor do I feel I am missing out on any social stuff without one. My wife deleted hers as well and found it to be incredibly liberating. If someone wants to get in contact me, they’ll find a way. I generally prefer it if people don’t, though.
It's actually worked out quite OK, I'm relying on a few friends updating me on what happens in some group chats right now but a lot of friends has already moved over to alternative chat platforms like Telegram, Signal, etc.
I haven't missed other parts of facebook like groups and events at all which is nice and I've never used IG or WhatsApp.
I hope they aren't claiming that I accepted it. I guess it's their word against mine, no way to prove that I didn't click the button if they just flip a bit in their database.
I just rarely use it for Messages now, no News Feed.
I got along fine before social media existed. I get along fine without it now.
So, no, I did not (and cannot) delete my Facebook account in 2018, because there isn't any to delete.
I see no reason to delete Whatsapp because of E2E encryption. Maybe things will change.
As for actual account, it's trickier. I have a decent following there, and alternatives don't really exist. Where I live, nobody uses Twitter.
Also, Facebook Messenger is by far the most popular messaging platform: so much so that hardly anyone has even heard of Whatsapp, not to mention Signal or Wire.
Looks like my FB account is here to stay, unless I figure out a way to reach friends (alternative to Messenger) and followers (alternative to Facebook). Sucks.
As many here I also didn't delete the account but only log in once or twice a month and usually don't spend more than 5 minutes on the site and never write or like anything. I don't get any notifications from FB so it's useful to see if someone sent me a msg. (which happens rarely). I have another "fake" account that I use more often since I have a few groups that I follow there.
Stopped using even Instagram, I installed the app again today itself after almost 1 year, and just added one picture. Then I might forget to use it and have to uninstall the app till next time.
I use WhatsApp but only when I need it most. All notifications are turned off so it can't disturb me and I can open only when I need to.
Though I use Twitter often. Maybe 30-60 minute a day.
My quantity of "friends" went way down, but I was left with a handful of really good friends and meaningful relationships.
Otherwise all fine.
Interestingly, the first couple of weeks FB started emailing me whenever someone acted in my feed.. posts, comments, likes, etc. FB is mostly a ghost town for me now so it was interesting to see how desperate it looks when I got an email that someone I hadn't talked to in years "liked a post."
In the past week or so, FB has started texted me these updates. I assume they have some data that says it only takes one time opening the app to get someone re-engaged.
Blocked all Facebook domains, even Instagram, (so many!) in my MacBook's etc/hosts file to "blackhole" any FB tracking. Can no longer sign in on my laptop.
Still have Facebook on my phone with Location privileges turned off.
This has corresponded with increasingly aggressive notifications on my phone about things that don't directly involve me. I used to I only get notifications about things I posted on or posted myself. Curious if this has happened with anybody else who disengaged.
Before I came across those groups, I would occasionally log in and see what on the newsfeed. Now I don't really remember the last time I checked my news feed.
I have also made sure that I no longer use Facebook authentication on any other sites.
I have no plans to go back to using it. I do have quite a bit of family on it so will have to put up a "no longer active, here's how to contact me" post or something like that.
I've heard _way_ more stories of five and six figure Facebook ad spends resulting in zero attributable transactions than success stories. The word on the street I'm hearing is that Instagram is where the conversions are coming from in B2C...
Linkedin is a tough one for me. Although I can't say its social networking has ever provided a lick of value, the Easy Apply and One-Click Apply feature for job postings is incredibly nice and has been pretty effective for me. Maybe I'll get rid of my account once I land my next gig soon.
Based on growth rates over the last three years, as you cite, that means Facebook is missing about 780,000 Americans.
Mirimir still has one,[0] but I no longer have the email account, or know the password. But I did a nice job on the photo, no?
I believe in technology being able to foster and improve things in the social and community aspects of people's lives, but I do know for sure Facebook is not it.
Once because I wanted to remove it, the politics, the drama, and the big brother from my life.
The second time because Facebook didn't actually delete my account the first time. I haven't checked to see if they have honor my request this time around. Maybe I will check next year.
my advice to people that say they need it to keep in contact with family - try something like groupme, you do not need facebook
My dad gave me some great advice pre-social media, and it still applies:
“If you want to get really depressed, spend your time worrying about what everybody else is doing.”
I realize Facebook offers more utility than just peering over fences, but that is what it would be to me.
i was also the only parent in kindergarten out of 100 children who had problem to sign consent with publishing photos of my child on Facebook, since then kindergarten backpedaled and will discontinue using Facebook for photos and other communication and use their own site plus they upload photos to password protected galleries on other local photo sharing website without attaching names of children
speaking of backpedaling, photos and deleting accounts with Flickr deadline approaching in few days i am also gonna delete wives and mine Flickr/yahoo accounts and all photos, ain't gonna bring them any visitors with 1000 photos they let me store there after luring me to 1TB offer
I would delete my hn account if I could - @dang.
I have experienced some downsides, mainly losing contact with some not-so-close friends. But the advantages + knowing that I followed my principles make it worth it.
I still use whatsapp though, because unfortunately I keep in contact with my close friends through it.
But I guess if you run a website with social media channels, you need a Facebook/Twitter/YouTube/Reddit/etc presence.
Though I did recently have to create a fake one for work to manage our Facebook page.
Currently I do not actively use FB, and ONLY use with incognito browser (no mobile apps), so no long term sessions.
Signal is great, easy, private with no data mining, and we all have messages set to self delete after a week.
Their app works on my phone and laptop, and I love that it's P2P so they don't have a central server like Wire. I also love that I can set messages to expire and they're gone for everyone. Open-source, secure, and funded by spite. Ha.
* WhatsApp Co-Founder Brian Acton Injects $50 Million in Newly Formed Signal Foundation | WIRED || https://www.wired.com/story/signal-foundation-whatsapp-brian...
Backing up messages is also pretty clunky and non-automated on Android, and impossible on iOS.
> Multiple mobile devices and Android tablets are not currently supported.
Also for me anyways I have changed numbers 3 times in the last 6 years. Once when I moved to Iceland, once when I moved back to Canada, and once due to abuse on my number. Having a service that can be tied to email instead of phone number is awesome.
As far as I understand it Signal is basically considered the most secure option out there. After looking at lots of options which primarily included Telegram, Wire, Keybase, and Signal I settled on Wire as the reasonable compromise.
I actually really liked Keybase. It was just a little too complicated for random family members.
> I also love that I can set messages to expire and they're gone for everyone.
Wire has that feature as well. Works on direct messages and can be set on group chats as well.
For private messaging, I use email.
I did this because I noticed my ability to write and communicate was degenerating.
In some ways I'm still recovering since I still use IM
I have yet to delete my Google account.
It is impressive how truly evil companies are becoming in silicon valley.
I was recently at a Kent Beck talk (yow 2018). Where he went in great lengths to tell us how people can use facebook to elect fascists. I assume he means Trump. On the other hand, he also said that from the inside Facebook does not feel like it is doing anything nasty.
As a complete outsider to silicon valley - has valley basically become group think and finding it difficult to have discussions around morality and collective responsibility. Purely relying on "thought leaders", usually tech-journalists to drive these discussions?
I can understand why some people can't do it, but for me it was a minor upside vs major downside situation. I found that my overall level of happiness increased after I stopped using it (and Twitter.)
I still log onto Twitter occasionally but my rules are:
- Always log in with a specific goal in mind, like DMing someone or making a tweet
- When not performing that goal, log out
- Prefer direct navigation/bookmarking of interesting people and reading their feeds vs looking at logged in timeline
It works a lot better but if you want to tweet something you still need to wade into it.
Sure I missed some events, but if FB is the only way to communicate with me, then we actually have no real relationship/friendship.. etc
That being said, I haven’t posted to it in years. I just use messenger...
...but ended up creating 2 accounts for businesses in ~2015-2016.
Still on linkedin, reddit, HN, twitter, and tumblr. No whatapp or insta.
And luckily, I've never installed their apps on any device.
So far to me, it seems to be the best of both worlds: having & not having Facebook.
I'm good with that.
I use the messenger sometimes.
Switching to browser mode reduced the time I spend.
Barely use it now (mostly for talking to folks on Messenger).
Wish I could get rid of Whatsapp too.
I use Messenger daily, and Feed weekly.
You can't delete something you never had.I have no desire to send mass messages to the friends list I have. I have no desire to acquire a list of friends who want to hear me broadcast messages (is this weird?) I have no desire to listen to the inane posts people make. If I could come in once a week and get a valid chunk of ongoings that interest me - id drop in. But it’s almost always low quality stuff. Maybe my friends are just lame? Maybe I think humans are kinda lame, to sit and study?
Idk. I can’t find a reason to get into it.
2018 just confirmed that it was the right decision.
Can't say I feel like I'm missing anything either.