I mostly agree. I just don't think the "you" thing works on engineers. If an engineer doesn't know anything about your product, they want facts about your product.
For instance, look at rust's landing page at https://www.rust-lang.org/ :
"Rust : Empowering everyone to build reliable and efficient software."
There is a hidden "you" in this sentence (the hidden message is "even if you don't think you can, with rust, you can build reliable and efficient software"). And then, they go on with features : performance (no runtime, no GC), reliability (borrow checker), productivity (great documentation, great compiler eror messages).
It also showed a code example, so you couldn't really miss the fact (https://web.archive.org/web/20181114045725/https://www.rust-...).