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[...] Then lease your VPS

... With a credit card (which of course has your name on it), since AFAIK the providers tend to only accept bitcoin for established accounts.

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No, of course not. I've found lots of VPS providers who accept Bitcoin. Just search a while, and you'll find them. Some of them have rather "unsavory" reputations, I admit. And you want to avoid the ones that charge a huge premium for being "bulletproof".

Vultr is good and cheap. You have to use a disposable visa gift card for your first $20 payment, but affer that bitcoin payment is enabled. the best visa cards are the $500 ones from simon malls-- 2.99$ activation fee and no ongoing or expiration fees. pay cash.

Also good:

Cockbox (Bitcoin and Monero) at https://cockbox.org/

HostSailor (cards, transfers, Bitcoin, etc) at https://hostsailor.com/

Pulse Servers https://www.pulseservers.com/

Trilight Zone (cards, transfers, Bitcoin, etc) at https://www.trilightzone.org/

VPS.BG (PayPal, Bitcoin, etc) at https://www.vps.bg/en

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