Ask HN: How do you handle your mental lows?

1. That is normal, ask a doctor if you think you have problems and STOP FUSSYING AROUND ABOUT FAMOUS PEOPLE. You are doing fine, they just had more luck in life than you. I'm in the absolute 0.01%(or 99.9%?) of a normal distribution of my peers in terms of success and I'm nowhere near Elon Musk. You can be very successful, and yet, it won't be enough for you to be remembered or noticed. Why is that so important? I find this kind of questioning quite immature to be honest. Just focus on YOUR goals and YOUR strenghts/weaknesses.

2. Rest and look for people that can help you out, or solutions. Life is tedious and hard, we must fight everyday. If people respect that in order to grow your muscle, you must relax and chill when you have fatigue, why shouldn't you when you have mental fatigue?

I love posts like this because it makes me feel like we're all robots that came off the same factory line. Other people have given good advice, but I'll throw a random one out there:

I noticed I feel like you do basically every December through March, so much so that my git commits and activity even look to be seasonal. If this is some seasonal thing by chance, then get outside for at least 30min a day and/or get one of those lamps. Don't work in dark places or rooms either.

Could indeed be seasonal, there have been studies and it's a registered disorder[0] called SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), usually it lasts up until spring/summer. Light therapy might work as a non-drug cure.

[0]https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/seasonal-affective-di...

If I take a look at, let's say famous, entrepreneurs on Twitter, for example, most of them seem to know what to do and seem to be very pragmatic.

A quick thought experiment - when the people you admire aren't tweeting do you assume that's because they're busy being successful and getting things right, or because they're also feeling like they're worthless and getting it wrong as you do? If it's the former, why are you assuming that?

When all you see is the successes it's very easy to assume it's like that all the time, but for pretty much all the entrepreneurs (and just people in general) that's not the case. Everyone has periods of low productivity and depression to some extent. A lot of people on social media tend not to share the bad times. That's all.

The solution for me was to realise that there's no rush. If I'm not productive for a while that's OK. I'm better off when I don't stress over how productive I am, and taking the pressure off is actually good for me mentally. Of course, that's not always possible, especially in a start up without a huge amount of capital. I don't have the answer if that's the case.

It's not mentioned in the post, but if you have suicidal ideation, consult a doctor.

Otherwise, it's probably normal (and to be fair since something like 20% of the US population will have depression at some point, even long and/or severe episodes seem to be fairly normal).

People on Twitter are lying. Sometimes, only by omission. But often, straight-up lying. Second-guess your media a little more.

I find the lows more creative personally. The art type of creative. It's a better mood for seeing the world as it really is, which is a prerequisite to rendering it. Take up an art like painting or writing and get in the habit of truly looking at things. It will help you see these times as unique.

Some people find journaling helpful. I've never been able to stick to it but if you're a list-making, organized type journaling may help. If you do it large scale enough you can look back and notice that you did achieve things over a long enough period.

Similar thing happens to me from time to time.

I have a semi-systematic way to deal with this:

1) check I drink enough water, I eat enough, I had enough sleep. I.e. me and my wife have managed to avoid few really depressing evening conversations by looking at each other and saying "We are too tired to talk!", drinking few cups of water, taking a shower and going to bed early. Next day is then so much better :-)

2) I try to remember, when I was outside last time for an hour-long walk? When was the last time I have seem my friends? If the answer is "long ago", I make plans to change this.

3) so far these instances were far-apart enough, but I started to keep a journal, and review it whether it is time to go find a therapist :-)

W.r.t. enterpreneurs on Twitter, I follow @sehurlburt and she is quite open with her going to therapy and sometimes even shares some of her workbooks :)

I am not self-employed, which means that I have one more option you probably don't really have when feeling unproductive, and that is claiming I am stuck on a problem to colleagues and asking for help. It can sound weird, but pair-programming can help me with this, despite me being stuck is not fueled by technical problem, but mental state :)

1. Search for "CEO suicide" and you'll get a less rosy picture. People won't Tweet about all the problems they have, everybody has problems.

2. Sleep more. Consult a psychologist if that doesn't help.

It helps the realization and be mindful of your emotional state. I have felt the same and I just say to myself "It is Ok. Just keep doing it" I remember something from someone saying "Don't compare yourself to others, just make sure the one you are today is a little bit better than the one you were yesterday" and the process is incremental.

I take a break whenever I feel stuck or that my work is useless. It may be useless (for other people and for myself sometimes) but at the end of the day is that I enjoy the process what really matters.

The Twitter thing you bring up is interesting. Tweeting (or posting wherever) about your work is interesting in that it forces you to at least pretend you're getting something done.

I find that most hacks for consistency are external in nature. When you're a lone wolf you can slack off for days and nobody will notice. Say, personally, I'll often miss my own hard deadlines, but I'd never miss an appointment with somebody.

I think you are putting too much value on your work and you maybe be trying to substitute work with worth.

I mean work is just a small facet of life.. when you put too much emphasis on it and start spending disproportionate amount of time on it while ignoring things that actually make you happy like playing with your kids, spending time with SO, watching tv / sports, etc you may start equating life with your work performance which can make you feel this way.

I don't know if it's normal, but I experience pretty much the same cycle (and have for the past 5-6 years) -- for me, what's helped is:

- being able to anticipate it

- using that time period to do more introspective stuff like journalling (instead of trying to be as productive as I usually am)

- trying to get outside/working out

- and sometimes drinking tea for the l-theanine + caffeine boost (which tends to snap me out of it for a duration of time)

It's because you don't know what you want and you are trying to fill the hole inside you with a manhole cover.

Deep inside you are unhappy even tho you are doing fine.

You want things at bigger scale, you yearn for the popularity which other famous founders have. You crave for their lifestyle.

comparing yourself to others is usually a good way to end up disappointed with as interconnected as the world has become. Compare yourself to your previous self. Are you getting better by what you measure success as? Don't worry about tailored messages famous people write. Are you better now that you were last year? The year before? Maybe you are better in some ways and not in others. Celebrate small successes. Also, get vitamin D and do some exercise. Socialize with people in the real world.

Lifting heavy weights works better than anything else for me. If I skip too many days in a row I start to feel like that.

Turns out outdoor sport gives boost in morale

This is true for me as well. Sometimes when I feel down. I workout until exhaustion and then everything is Ok, not perfect, just fine. It helps to keep going. It helps, quite a lot!

Yeah it can be fairly normally.

a) maybe try meditation b) surround yourself with positive supportive people