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Comment by abalone | Hacker News Reader

> rise of single motherhood strikes again.

The study addressed this. There are sexist gender roles at play even among single parents, potentially. (To wit, you didn’t lament the rise of “single fatherhood.”)

From the study,

> These results suggest that single men are able to take care of their dependents by working more overtime, possibly to pay for child support or to finance other forms of child care. Single women, on the other hand, appear to be making the decision to do the caretaking themselves rather than to caretake through additional earnings. It is, of course, possible that for women this situation is not as much a personal preference as it is a constraint.

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> The study addressed this. There are sexist gender roles at play even among single parents, potentially. (To wit, you didn’t lament the rise of “single fatherhood.”)

Isn't that mostly caused by a sexist judiciary. I know that as a man in America in the event of a divorce it is very unlikely that I would get majority custody of my children. From what I've seen it takes a lot for a woman to lose custody if she wants it.

The custody gap is largely caused by different desires about custody. This is still an issue, but it is the same issue as the wage gap due to different career choices. When men and women fight for custody equally, they tend to get joint custody.

I agree that there is an interesting and potentially informative symmetry between the custody gap and the wage gap. They both describe situations that different groups find deeply unfair, but can be ascribed in large part to "different choices". It might be fruitful to take a more holistic view to understand why the "individual choice" explanation is so unsatisfying to many.

When I last looked it up, the US data indicated that 91% of custody cases are decided without recourse to the family court system. Of the 9% that go to family court system, 5% are decided after a custody evaluation, and the remaining 4% go to trial. Only 11% of custody cases go to mediation.

It appears that the majority of custody decisions are made by the parents themselves, without recourse to the court, or even to an external mediator. If the judiciary is causing a disparity in custody outcomes, it must be indirectly.

>the US data indicated that 91% of custody cases are decided without recourse to the family court system

The men know that if it does go to trial, it will cost a lot of money and they will probably still lose the kids. There's no point in playing a rigged game.

There are sexist gender roles at play even among single parents, potentially.

How can we determine those aren't preferential choices?

(To wit, you didn’t lament the rise of “single fatherhood.”)

There is an apparent bias against men getting custody of the children. There also isn't a lamentation about men's under-representation in certain medical fields in certain countries.

It is, of course, possible that for women this situation is not as much a personal preference as it is a constraint.

Why is it a constraint? How are they being coerced? Are you implying that some mothers would rather spend more time working, make more money, and have less time with their children, but they are being compelled to do otherwise? There are some wealthy mothers who do this by hiring caretakers.

You are now interrogating a quote from the study. I’m not sure what the Harvard dept. of Economics would think about your “wealthy mother” solution to patriarchal gender roles, but it seems a little weak to me.

I’m not sure what the Harvard dept. of Economics would think about your “wealthy mother” solution

Where did I cite that as a "solution?" You are revealing your biases and projections quite clearly. Rather, it's actually support for your position, with regards to the possible range of natural behaviors observed in our society. You asserted that women would choose to work more, then spend more on child care, but they are somehow less free to make that choice. How is that so?

here is the constraint: if i ask for help watching the kids because i need to work, relatives come running. if my wife asks the same, no-one volunteers.

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