Back when I was a student, I had to find a job so I put in a lot of effort.. until I found a job and settled in nicely. Couple years in, I am now familiar with the team and our stack so it takes less effort to keep up to date. I have a lot less free time than before due to the full-time job but I spend a larger percentage of it on unproductive things - lack of motivation when everything is cozy.

My situation has changed a little bit now (due to some deadlines) and though I can find a web developer job more easily, I want to give it my best shot trying to get an ML job, since I have realized I might never do it if I don't do it now.

Luckily I don't have a lot of those negative thoughts/days. I've felt bad a couple of times for wasting too much time on that particular day but I think of the overall progress I've made and get over it pretty quickly.