How to Be a Man

What? All you need to become an authority on personal development is to have been a software engineer? Okay, I'll bite:

How to Be a Manly Man:

1. 100 pushups. In a row. While chugging beer.

2. Laugh at other 'men' who enjoy romantic comedies.

3. You must have enough chest hair to stuff pillows.

4. Write a web application in machine language.

5. Put your children first. Until they get in the way of your principles. Then put the little buggers up for adoption.

6. Be confident. It worked for the president when he invaded Iraq.

7. Make real decisions decisively. It worked for the president when he invaded Iraq.

8. Die well. Don't make huge gasping sounds when you go, that'll just make you look wimpy. Instead, why not place a broadsword across your chest?

9. Write essays with empty platitudes about how to be a manly man.

I stopped at 9 instead of 10, because I firmly believe that real men believe in quality over quantity. Oh, in case you're interested, I'm available for personal development consulting...

If you need a "tutorial" on how to be a man from some guy claiming psychic abilities, you're surely not a man...

This is getting up-voted? Ugh.

"Life will test the man to see if he’s willing to put loyalty to others ahead of loyalty to his principles."

But one of my principles is loyalty to people I love!

Man? Not man? Man?

Oh, man! My head asplode.

Is there anything there that does not apply equally to women?

Mmm, sure. That and a pair of testicles.

0. Don't accept someone else's definition of what you ought to be.

(Fixed that for you.)

"a man isn’t ready to live until he accepts that he’s already dead."

That's a good rule to live by. Not so sure about the rest of the article..

Can someone kill this, please?

How to Lose Readers

He's a former software developer, for those who don't know.

Coming up soon in my blog, "How To Be An Asshat"

For those who catch the reference, i'll throw Steve a porkchop.

The piece is an easy target for ridicule and jokes, but read something like "The Fountainhead" or at least watch the fairly faithful movie. You might soften your opinion a bit.

OMG!