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Comment by tylermac1 | Hacker News Reader

I have two kids and have worked remotely since before they were born.

1. Try to take as much parental leave as possible initially. The baby stages are so much fun and no matter how much time you spend with them before going back to work, you'll wish there was more.

2. Don't expect to be able to watch your child and work simultaneously. I have done it in limited fashion (kid is sick/daycare closed etc) and it can be very hard. This mainly goes for the younger years (< 5).

3. When you travel, dedicate time to Skype/Facetime with your child.

Congrats on becoming a parent! It's seriously a blast and I wish you and your wife the best of luck!

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My wife luckily works in the school system and gets a pretty decent maternity leave for the US. I was planning to take at least a month off, possibly half time for a few months.

Re: FaceTime, is that for you or the baby?

Does a baby understand that’s you on the other side of the screen!!? I wonder if there is research on this. That’s interesting.

You need about 18 years of leave, give or take a few years depending on the kid. You could outsource part of this, but that is a bit like putting your kid up for adoption. Parenting is about being there for times both good and bad, which mostly can not be scheduled. ("Now it is time to skin your knee so I can show fatherly love, OK?") There is no substitute for putting in the time.

Kids get FaceTime and video calls way easier than voice only. My kids (2,4,6) are completely uninterested in a voice only call, but when I FaceTime them we can have 15-20 minutes of interaction.

When it’s voice only my kids will still try and show a picture to the phone, etc. and when we tell them it’s just voice and the person can’t see them they just ask why not.

I’ll add my own memories to the anecdote: when I was a kid my dad’s family would call from overseas. Even though my Arabic was passable, my grandma wouldn’t get more than a hello, I love you, and I miss you out of me. Why? The sound quality sucked, the timing was off, and I couldn’t really picture my grandma in my mind while talking. If there had been FaceTime in 1988 it wouldve been a different story. In 2005 my Arabic was WAY worse but our conversations way more expressive even with crappy video.

I travel a few days a month, those 15 minutes of FaceTime when I get back to the hotel probably do more for me than them.

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