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Comment by ThrustVectoring | Hacker News Reader

I could give better advice in a single sentence. To wit, "you should schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist to get screened for adult ADHD."

These life problems are classic adult ADHD symptoms. Moving cities every few years. Not being able to hold down a long-term relationship. Your "who-knows-what-number" job. Debt from poor and impulsive decisions. Lack of internal drive. Difficulty making and keeping friends. "Can barely remember to buy dish soap". Enough difficulty with making deadlines that her boss is reminding her of them.

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Is it really a diagnosis every single time? Are you saying pills will fix that? Unabashedly, no. Some people just get caught up in the wrong mentality and among peers who think a certain way. That analogy of "blindfolded, sitting on a mountain of glittering gems" makes a lot of sense. It's the lack of perspective/awareness.

Awareness is the antidote.

I definitely might be off track on this, which is why I said to visit an actual professional.

>It's the lack of perspective/awareness.

This is another ADHD symptom: a relative nearsightedness to behavioral consequences that are far away in time.

You are acting like someone that just got into carpentry and just discovered that hammers are a thing.

I'm sure a therapist has handled hundreds of patients going through a mid-life crisis and will be infinitely more useful than some internet columnist hocking their book. (Or a random guy on a startup forum trying to diagnose you)

Sure, and that same therapist will realize it if its just a mid-life crysis, and treat it accordingly.

> Are you saying pills will fix that?

No, that's not what the parent is saying.

It's completely possible to be a neurotypical person and "getting into the wrong mentality", as you are saying. But that is why the parent suggested a -screening-, rather than diagnosing the person over the internet. Because if it is ADHD, there is help to be found that is much more effective than "just change your mentality around things". In fact, I'd personally suggest a more general screening, as there is a high comorbidity with ADHD and other psychological issues.

Further, getting a diagnosis is not only about the medical treatment itself. Understanding one's problems goes a long way in coping with the symptoms.

> adult ADHD

that was my case. Had all those symptoms you described. 30mg of Vyvanse every morning, prescribed by a Psychiatrist, allowed me to get a hold of my life again. The difference is night and day.

I think also exploring the reasons why she behaves this way. It sounds cliche but I'm guessing it goes back to her childhood. She probably had a childhood full of instability, moving, absent or indifferent father, etc. and those patterns are imprinted in her thought process now. Good psychotherapy might expose the underlying reasons for her behavior and help her deal with them.

Learning things does not help people with ADHD like it can help people without ADHD. ADHD is a performance issue; they don't end up doing things to the extent that they know how to. It is not a knowledge issue. If she has ADHD, learning about how her life patterns are dysfunctional and why is not going to fix how she executes her life in a dysfunctional way.

It certainly won't hurt though, outside of opportunity cost. ADHD has a genetic component, and growing up with ADHD parents is often a big contributory factor to the life problems that ADHD folks face. But it's not getting screened for ADHD, which if you suspect you have ADHD really should be the first step.

What's the solution to that? Ritalin?

Yeah, stimulant therapy works extraordinarily well for ADHD. Like, it's basically the best psychiatric intervention known. It doesn't work for everyone, but it's the first line treatment for a reason.

Yeah ADHD is one of the, if not the, most treatable psychiatric conditions.

Ritalin is a great solution, actually. It completely changed my life for the better.

Don't dismiss a solution just because "it's a drug". It is, but for people who truly have ADHD, it's so much more.

Apologies. Didn't mean to come off as obtuse.

This sounds like me, except the debt and relationship problems.

I'm 90% sure I have add, but I'm afraid treatment would turn me into a zombie. It would be really nice to be able to work on crap at work I can't stand doing, but at the same time it would be awful.

it doesnt turn you into a zombie. You dont _have_ to take medications, and good psychiatrists will be willing to work with you with, or without medications.

There are strategies that can help without medication.

It might be good to spend a couple of hours reading and learning, perhaps watching some videos with first-hand discussions. This could help cultivate future awareness and potentially reduce impact even if you do nothing else. Or maybe you rule out ADHD as a potential contributing factor entirely. Or maybe you don't have ADHD but some of the strategies are useful anyway. You won't know until you look into it. But even if it's not applicable to you, the knowledge might help you understand someone else in your life.

This stigma about the different medications, along with worry for the view that people who seek treatment are simply looking for ADHD drugs, has prevented a lot of people from seeking treatment. It's very unfortunate.

Depression or bipolar disorder seem like a better fit. ADHD would manifest more in “short term” issues, i. e. difficulty getting through a workday. The fact that they can, apparently, hold down a job they don’t enjoy, and seem to quit voluntarily to improve their situation (going for an opportunity more than getting away from s/t) also don’t fit.

In the end, the point might be mood because the first step is the same, and a therapist will be far better figuring it out in person. The specific labels also seem not to perfectly fit the actual conditions, which are more fluid than what the existing lingo suggests.

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