I sympathize. "No 1st gen. Macs" has been my mantra for over 20 years.
That said, I am certainly pleased with the 27" iMac I scarfed up upon their intro last year (excuse: I needed a new machine then).
On the bright side: The article linked suggests to me that software updates may be all that is required. (Hence: not a huge issue; just requires a little patience). Apple hardware has come (on average) so far in QA from ten years ago.