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That was a fun read. Parts of it feel like something out of Sherlock Holmes:

> When I spoke with Lieutenant Mark Hollandsworth of the local sheriff’s department, he supported Dunkenberger’s theory: “The rain this year did spoil a lot of grapes.”

> He is quick to add that the transition from foraging to “sedentary settlement patterns” some 10,000 years ago was a net win for humanity.

Many scholars consider this transition humanity's biggest blunder.

See: http://discovermagazine.com/1987/may/02-the-worst-mistake-in...

Previous discussion of this article, with many well-argued criticisms: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5001409

This reminds me of the opening to The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: >Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake coming down from the trees in the first place, and some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no-one should ever have left the oceans.

"Who eats fifty boxed lunches?"

The Great Virginia Grape Heist