Best Programming Jokes | Hacker News Reader

Best Programming Jokes

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21 pointsedw5198 comments

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!"

To which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."

Haha, it's funny because programmers don't have girlfriends!

so true, at least for me ... :(

My favorite 2:

How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?

None - It's a hardare problem

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A programmer finds himself in front of a committee that decides whether he should go to Heaven or Hell. The committee tells the programmer he has a say in the matter and asks him if he wants to see either Heaven or Hell before stating his preference.

"Sure," the programmer replies. "I have a pretty good idea what Heaven is like, so let's see Hell." So an angel takes the programmer to a sunny beach, full of beautiful women in skimpy bikinis playing volleyball, listening to music and having a great time. "Wow!" he exclaims, "Hell looks great! I'll take Hell!"

Instantly the programmer finds himself in red-hot lava with demons tearing at his flesh. "Where's the beach? The music? The women?" he screams frantically to the angel.

"That was the demo," the angel replies as she vanishes.

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There aren't any good programming jokes.

"All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors."

How can they be lousy actors if they do exactly what's in the script? I think the playwrights are to blame actually.

I mentally replaced "computers" with "browsers" in that one, as it definitely fits more.

Woltman's Law: Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Well, that's a load of crap.

A planeful of programmers went down and there was nothing left to identify except body parts.

An official held up an arm and a woman cried, "That's my husband, John, the php programmer! I can tell from the watch I bought him for his birthday."

Then he held up a leg and another woman cried, "That's my husband Bill, the C++ programmer! I can tell from the shoe I bought him for his birthday."

Then he held up a head and a third woman cried, "That looks like my husband Joe, the Java programmer, but he was much taller than that."

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