The notifications have the opposite effect on me. Facebook (recently?) tried to put a "marketplace" button on their iPad app, and the darned thing would show an unread badge every time you opened the app.
After being thoroughly annoyed for a few weeks, i decided to do something about it, and found a way to disable it, only to discover Facebook replaced the "marketplace" icon with a "videos" icon, which now displays it's needy notification icon.
So i took the next logical step, which was to remove the thing from all my devices.
According to Apple's screen time, i now spend <5 minutes a day on Facebook, which is mostly spent checking notifications from friends/family, and _quickly_ scrolling down my news feed scanning for anything interesting.
I've never used Instagram, and i try my best to educate my friends to use iMessage or Signal for messaging instead of Messenger/Whatsapp, but so far i don't have much luck :)