So I would try boxing time early in the day before your full time job, focus on your side project then. Work your full time job come home for family time, get a good nights sleep.
Occasionally I will work on it late in the evening if the family is out and I'm home, and sometimes on the weekend. I just find it easier to get things done early before everyone is up and going about their day.
Giving up TV shows and Video Games can give you extra time for your side project. Although everyone needs some down time so I wouldn't say you need to give those up completely if you enjoy them.
I've had the most success with this formula:
1. Every day, wake early and work on your project 1 - 2 hours.
2. Work your "day" job. If your job allows it, spend your breaks planning your side-project work.
3. Spend time with family and work some after dinner. In my case, I can usually code
and watch TV out of one eye while spending time with my wife.
4. Rinse and repeat
I used to strongly believe that side projects could only be done in four hour blocks of time without distraction but, often, that kind of time is in rare supply. However, when I got a job that required an hour train commute, I found that I could knock out some useful code even when my time between laptop-open and laptop-closed was 30-45 minutes. The tricks to making use of short blocks of time are: 1) Break the project into short, deliverable bits
2) Build placeholders/stubs as you go for things to flesh out later
3) Leave yourself lots of "do this later" comments with ample specifics.
Don't just say "finish this." Say "Use ABC parameter to lookup XYZ value to override the default."
Structuring the work for "resume-ability" makes it possible to squeeze short bursts of productive work into your day.I'm surprised your wife doesn't complain you're not giving your full attention to her.
But this requires basically going to sleep early on Weekend evenings.
Another option is save a bunch of money and take 6 months to a year off in between jobs and work on side projects.
It's really hard to work full time, have a life, and work on side projects.
If you figure it out please let us know.
Then, schedule and budget that time. Maybe you have an hour on Monday evening. Plan to do something that you can accomplish in an hour. Might be two thirty-minute tasks, or half of a two-hour task.
I used to have lofty ambitions for spending time on side projects, but I came to realize that I must of necessity limit my expectations. Weekdays, I might only have an hour or two. Sometimes zero. Weekends, probably more time, but maybe not.
So I work on smaller projects, or on larger projects that I can divide into smaller chunks. I am working on evaluating my mentality at the beginning of my project time; some days I am just too tired, but instead of accepting this, I sit there and pretend to work for an hour or two. That's a waste. I'd rather read, or exercise, if I'm not in a good frame of mind to actually work.
It can be tough! And the work output might not be as high as you like. But you can still do great things.
Ask about reducing to four days a week instead of five. I've recently done this and I find having one dedicated day to spend on side projects is much easier than trying to find a few hours here and there.
Not giving this as advice, but it is how I manage to do it.