Ask HN: Introvert freelancers, how do you find the willpower to network?

"It doesn't get easier, you get stronger".

I assume you are from a tech background? Break networking down to baby steps. I was always told to go "three deep" on a question.

Ex.

Me: Hey, how are you? What projects are you working on now? Person: Hey, I'm alright. I'm working on this widget Me: Cool. Why did you chose to work on this widget? Person: Because I want to learn more about squelch Me: I don't know much about squelch; what have you learned? ...

This helps avoid shallow talk, and establishes that you are a functional person who is interested in them. (Most). People love to talk about themselves.

Now that you've established yourself, you can start talking about what you want, whether it be you're looking for clients, looking for a second opinion on xyz, etc.

Haha, that convo gave me anxiety. Mainly because I am often on the receiving end of that. I assume people mean well, but I just don't like talking about myself to people I have no connection with (namely, common ground on things I'm interested in).

This is not a counterpoint, I'm just venting in an introvert post I guess. /shrug

Additionally, are you familiar with toastmasters groups? They are Meetups/clubs for people who look to practice public speaking. Maybe there is one in your area?

I moonlighted / freelanced between 2005-2008, then have freelanced / had a small team from 2012-present. I'm not convinced it ever gets easier. I've been a long-time face at various networking events, I've sponsored conferences, I've cold-called - you name it, I've probably tried it. I've seen some very large companies grow on the back of a single large client, with all of the risk that entails. Nearly every long-term freelancer I've seen has had some scenario that would be very difficult for someone else to reproduce.

Assuming you are going to stay a freelancer, the best advice I can give is to find a niche and sell the heck out of that niche. The best overall advice I can give is to get the heck out of freelancing and move as quickly as possible to building a product, where you can use and hire traditional marketing channels.

Not all networking happens in person. Send emails to former colleagues and let them know you're looking for business. Ask around in online communities. Reply to strangers' tweets. Just keep talking to people.

I made a little app to help HN users network with each other. I can't promise you'll find what you're looking for, but it's free: https://findkismet.com

Isn’t it tacky to reach out to old contacts looking for business?

How else will they know you’re looking? Most people want to help if they can, and if they can’t they’ll politely say no or simply not respond.

I have a family I need to support, and new technologies I want to learn. Despite my introversion, this provides all the 'motivation' I could ever need.

Realistically, I set up habits that make networking as easy as possible. Meetups, connections through friends, working in shared offices from time to time, mentoring, involving yourself in the local community and so on are all ways to easily build low pressure network connections. Focusing on the tech problems that you find challenging and let that be your motivation when talking to people.

It gets easier with practice. I had to start from scratch as well and found that I wasn't 'pushy' enough and definitely had to sell myself more. Hopefully you find people you like working with.

+1 for this - hungry mouths at home make a great motivator.

If you are going to freelance or start a business, you have to be willing to fight your own worst self, which might mean finding coping techniques to overcome shyness or introversion. I'm very introverted and find networking events, etc very overwhelming, but I've spent years fighting through that to gain comfort in doing it. If you are going to be self-employed, you gotta be able to do things that hurt.

I have the same problem. I'm lucky enough that my network of former colleagues and existing clients has provided steady work. One example - a high level person at a startup I still work with, left for another position. I made sure to stay in touch with him, if only by connecting on LinkedIn. He gave me some project work when he started his new role. There is a lot of turnover in tech (assuming that's what you are doing) so staying in touch is essential.

Search out colleagues who you have worked with, even if you didn't work directly for them. If they know you they should be in your network. I have gotten referrals from colleagues I worked with 8-10 years ago, because I stay in touch and periodically say hi or comment on their posts. You can do all of this from your couch.

I'm a LinkedIn pro, which I don't think has any additional value other than being able to cold message people. Look for companies hiring for your niche segment and then see if you have any 2nd degree connections. If not use one of your 15 InMail credits. Try to connect and let them know that you are available in case they ever need freelancers/contractors. Most of the time this will yield nothing but it's worth trying if you have nothing else to do.

One thing I found out as I get older, that I no longer like large gatherings of people, as I imagine most networking events would be. I much prefer one-on-one interactions.

I found out that lunches are quite good for this. It is in middle of the day, most people do go lunch somewhere, and sending a message along the lines "Hey, could I join you for a lunch sometime this week?" usually doesn't require too much effort from the other party :-)

On the other hand, I mostly use this to meet former colleagues and classmates, so it is much lower stakes than the I-need-to-network-to-get-clients.

Getting the way to message the people is probably the hard part, if I ever needed to meet people I don't really know yet, I would defer to a networking guide by Stephanie Hurlburt of Binomial [1] and just send out cold e-mails.

[1] https://stripe.com/atlas/guides/networking#making-direct-ask...

I've freelanced successfully for a few years and never really had to explicitly network to get clients. They all came from my existing professional network (built up over a 10+ year career in traditional employment). I know that's not possible for everyone and I didn't come here to say just that.

Lately I've been focusing more on bootstrapping a startup and using freelancing as a part-time way to pay the bills, so time to go out and find jobs has been less. Fortunately, I was able to connect with another freelancer who is great at networking and often lands more jobs than he can handle. He then sends work my way. I charge my usual hourly rate and I suspect he's quoting these clients with project-based billing and in some cases making a tidy profit. I'm absolutely fine with this - he takes the risk, communication overhead, blame if stuff hits the fan, and I get some steady side-income where I essentially report to another developer who is an understanding person.

Perhaps if you're an introvert, seek out an extrovert freelancer that could use some extra bandwidth.

I'm also an introvert. For my first startup I used to go to meetups etc to try to network and get business. It got me nowhere and it was draining.

I don't want to discourage you but there may be more efficient ways to get in touch with potential clients. Take a look at "Never Eat Alone" (Keith Ferrazzi). Written by a guy whose whole life is built around connecting with people and is very skeptical about networking events.

In any case, yes it does get easier. These days I do a lot of cold emailing and video calls and even that used to be difficult for me.

This was always tough for me. Pick a couple of industry meetups in your area and suck it up and go every week. I found that just showing up was enough, once I was there I'd naturally make enough contacts to eventually get some work flowing.

I am an introvert who freelanced for a while and now I have a permanent gig which includes biz dev. Former colleagues helped me by either letting me practise on them, or giving me helpful and motivating feedback, or by introducing me to possible leads. When I go out looking for leads I set myself goals for numbers e.g. 30 leads at such-and-such event. I find it helps to stop me from giving up and sneaking out early. I also took to heart the advice that it's better to get to an event early and be warmed up before the numbers get too daunting. I still suck at it, but I get by.

Does it change based on the scale of an event? E.g. a meetup vs a convention?

What events were the most useful in finding leads?

Little talk, a lot of writing, up to date portfolios, a few references, a lot of web scraping for opportunities, a lot of tailored e-mails, active participation in industrial forums and local guilds activities, attending fairs and conferences and exhibitions, funnelling interactions into proposals to which you can answer with a written quote and terms of contract. No need to be an extrovert for many of these?

I’ve found success in trying to provide value in every interaction. I stopped spending so much energy focusing on how I interact, and instead shifted my focus to better understand someone else and empathize more. It leads to better conversations and people reach out to me, no networking drudgery needed.

Try finding long-term engagements or find a well-paid remote job and become an employee instead of a freelancer.

Does UpWork help you with this?

UpWork is a race to the bottom, I'd rather do anything else than find work through this platform.

Upwork is garbage, but presumably there might be platforms out there which are better. Toptal maybe?