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Just give me a board with gigabit ethernet, wifi+bt, emmc (NOT sd for fucks sake), like 2-4 usb As and a proper power connector (NOT the god damn micro usb) and I'm happy!

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An Orange Pi Plus 2E meets all your needs, but like the other comment noted, it's going to cost more than $6.

http://www.orangepi.org/orangepiplus2e/

Mainline kernel support would be nice too.

Yeah, that's going to close you way more than 7$

I'd be happy if the raspberry pi had full gigabit ethernet.

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