Consider that even well-known black movie stars occasionally get the "shopping while black" treatment. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/19/forest-whitaker-fa... Having even absurd amounts of money doesn't make bias just go away.
$28k a year in free money was an almost unimaginable sum to myself and many of my friends, most black but some white, when growing up. It's my general experience that people at this level of privilege don't have the ability to truly understand how privilege, or the lack thereof, impacts the entirety of your existence, and should refrain from castigating others for their perceived privileges, it's splitting hairs at this point.
As to a specific number, my gut feeling tells me $28K seems rather excessive. That's more money annually than I and most of my friends made in total yearly wages for a good chunk of our adult lives, and we all worked rather dutifully. I'm not entirely convinced that the creation of art requires such sums. And $28k could certainly help a lot of other children in need.
In any case, I'd like to think one of the most satisfying aspects of parenting is watching a child transform into an adult, I'm unsure whether a perpetual yearly stipend equal to the wages of large segments of this country is the best method to achieve that goal. But assuming my child was the recipient of such privilege, I'd hope I would have taught them the humility to understand just how privileged they were, and in general refrain from criticism based on generalities.
(Sorry to hijack) As a former foster parent, and now an adoptive parent, and a hopeful future foster parent: I strongly encourage anyone who is able to get involved to do so. There are so many kids who need the help only foster parents can give. There will never be a "perfect" time, trust me. But it makes me so sad to hear stories like yours about kids who are homeless :(
I come from a more privileged background with a lot of family support, so I can see the good (stability and guidance allows you to learn, socialize, grow, stay out of the death spiral of the penal/judicial system) and bad (overdependence on parents, growing up in a bubble, not learning lessons in a visceral/hard way that will stick with you, mistaking luck and hard work) from where I've come from.
I appreciate you sharing your personal perspective, and I agree. I wouldn't want to provide any monetary support for my children post university (unless it is more of a business transaction with stipulations on what it can be spent on/payback period), but would want to provide stability and travel/educational experiences growing up, and be there when shit happens as it usually does
Per your privilege comment, travel has been the most helpful for me to get outside of my bubble, so I think you hit the nail on the head. It's like the fish swimming in water parable:
There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, "Morning, boys, how's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, "What the hell is water?"
I have two daughters, who are five and ten years old. I do not intend to pay for their higher education, and I don't intend to give them anything resembling a "stipend" when they go off on their own. Instead, I expect them to build financial independence from my wife and I as quickly as they can, and am very active in making sure they have the skills and character to do so.
Now, that said, we are on track to being able to offer the kind of support in the article. If one (or both) of my children come to me with a plan to pursue college, reasonable projections of how much it will cost, and a timeline that shows a good ROI on that investment, then we'll reconsider. It will be a serious financial decision, though, and one that I expect them to put a lot of thought and planning into. It's entirely possible that my wife and I will simply pay for our children's tuition, living expenses, down payment on a home, or even just buy them a home outright - but any and all financial assistance we provide them will be predicated on one of two things: actual need, or net benefit.
I want my children to understand the weight of the financial decisions they make in early adulthood. I want them to understand and to feel the consequences of those decisions - but they are my children, and I won't let them place themselves in serious danger because of their early mistakes.
I've gone through this myself. I hope my children have an easier time than I did transitioning from childhood to adulthood, but if not, I plan to handle it in a way similar to that of my own parents. In 2004, I had lost a full academic scholarship to a state school and was suffering from clinical depression. I lived in a one-bedroom apartment with my girlfriend (now wife), and my bank account was almost always negative. I worked overnights stocking shelves at a grocery store and my girlfriend was a retail clerk. My parents were there for me - they made sure I had reliable (not "nice", but reliable) transportation, made sure I had a basic cellphone that wasn't always getting disconnected, and were always willing to help make ends meet if there wasn't enough money for food at the end of the month.
From 2002, when I started college, to about 2005, I was barely able to function as an adult. In August of 2005 I married, and started putting my life together. I moved back to my home town in 2006 with a plan to get a career-oriented job at the only decent employer in the area, based mostly on my reputation as a nerd and the fact that I knew many people who worked there, since it was a small town. In 2007 I landed an hourly job there, and worked my way up. We had a daughter in 2008, moved to Virginia for a better job in 2013, had another daughter there, and moved back once more in 2018 to work remotely.
Even today, if I were to experience real financial stress, my parents are there for me. I haven't had to rely on them for many years now, but they're there. I'm 34, and only now am I to the point where I feel like I have an adequate safety net built for myself to withstand a significant event - I see no way I could have built that without my parents' being there for me.
It isn't only about the money. No matter what happens to me or my finances, we will not be homeless as long as my extended family is alive. The opposite is also true; my wife is an only child and her parents are beginning to get to the point in their lives where they're going to need more assistance. I'm taking on that responsibility as I can, and within the next ten years I fully expect that I will be responsible for making sure they're comfortable in their retirement.
To me, this is how families are supposed to work. It's how they've worked for generations. Parents sacrifice to enrich their children's lives, and children do what they can to honor that sacrifice. Extended family is always there to help with immediate issues, whether it raising a barn, helping someone move, or driving someone to a doctor's appointment three hours away. It works, I embrace it, and have made it a central tenet of my life.
What was the turning point for you in deciding to put your life together (if there was one single moment or realization)? Was it getting married and having the responsibility for taking care of your new, young family? It must have been hard to dig out of depression in what probably seemed like a hopeless situation at the time.
I, as a fairly non-descript white guy, am always worried when out walking near a single female that she might be afraid of me and what I might do and take steps to help alleviate that (walk slower, etc.).
I mean, it seems like the most reasonable course of action. Sure, I'm never going to confront/assault/rape anyone, but the 5'2", 110 lbs woman walking in front of me on the street? She has no clue. How hard is it for me to slow down half a step and give her some relief?
stalk gerund or present participle: stalking: pursue or approach stealthily.
synonyms:creep up on, trail, follow, shadow, track down, go after, be after, course, hunt;More
Why would dropping back give relief? Seems to me, moving to the side as far as the sidewalk, etc., permits then accelerating to pass so you aren't behind is the better course of action.
I guess my point is that I feel like you are doing something wrong if you /aren't/ considering how those around you are interpreting your actions. It's like the people at the grocery store who blindly stop their carts in the middle of the aisle and walk away to browse...seriously? You didn't consider how your actions impacted anyone else at all?
>Having even absurd amounts of money doesn't make bias just go away.
And having white skin and a penis doesn't make inequality go away either.
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
I once said similar things. Then I learned that MLK was told similar things then - he was constantly told that he was creating trouble by inflaming things. I strongly encourage you to read his "Letter From a Birmingham Jail" to see not only that the same things have always been said, but his response - it transformed my understanding of these issues.
> partially healed wounds ...
> re-opening those wounds and undoing any healing that had already begun.
I think we should question the assumptions that the wounds were as healed as perhaps is widely thought by people who aren't in minorities. What makes you say they are healed to the extent you think? When I ask people who have those experiences personally and directly, they almost always have a starkly different view of the amount of 'healing'.
Part of MLK's response is that, unless compelled to address it, people don't take them seriously and they linger. Racism has lingered in the U.S. for centuries. IME, people who aren't directly affected by problems tend to project their experiences onto them - they unconsciously infer that 'I don't see bad things' means 'it's not bad'.
Finally, a bit of a tangent: MLK is often adopted by white Americans because his message, misunderstood, makes them feel comfortable. MLK was very much about making people uncomfortable, and he believed (again, see the Letter) that that was the only way to foster change. (And IIRC, even after the Voting Rights Act, surveys showed that MLK had more people in the U.S. who thought negatively about him than positively.)
A sad fact of HN is that there are no voices of African-Americans, or at least very few and they don't share their experiences (not that I blame them; it's a hostile place). Other people with no experience like to share their opinions, but that is as valuable as me talking about what it's like to work at Microsoft - I've never worked there so my opinion isn't worth a lot. The lack of people experienced in this subject is both an outcome of generations of discrimination - African-American families often lack the wealth, income, and educational history associated with higher education and SV jobs - and a cause of it: We don't understand the problems. We're just BSing in the dark.
Also, I think its important to consider your comments holistically when seeing how they are received by the community. Of course you believe you comment communicates one thing, but in addition to that you have tone, other claims, and defenses. Any of which can result in a downvote.
To be clear, I wasn't asking why that particular comment was downvoted; I'm talking about a much broader pattern.
https://www.prb.org/us-inequality-poverty/
Yes, black Americans do have worse outcomes than white Americans.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/psmag.com/.amp/economics/four-f...
However, we should not be splitting hairs over who has it worse or bickering about how to make poor dumb white families pay for the injustices of systemic racism that they had no hand in creating or maintaining.
There are a lot of poor people in America and they all deserve our help. If we continue to pick and choose who we help based on what minority sub-group makes the most noise we will only accomplish division. If the top 1% can increase their wealth by 20%in a year then we can also improve schools, health care, and access to affordable financing for all poor people. Instead we get divisive platitudes that alienate poor whites and never actually help poor blacks.
https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2016/02/concen...
We should start by funding public schools equally by head count instead of from property taxes.
https://www.thenation.com/article/how-unequal-school-funding...
Then we should probably end the inane war on drugs, fix healthcare, free the slaves filling prisons that do not pose a danger to society, overturn CU, and build some affordable damn houses.