Firstly, development kits are great - they provide the hardware you need and all of the IP to drive that hardware. Grab a dev kit - there are lot's of other posts advising you which one. The IP that actually interacts with the real world is by far the most difficult bit.
Secondly, 99% of hardware design is simply know what actually maps to hardware. It's important to understand that hardware languages fit: FPGAs, ASICs, simulators. So what can be coherently written in VHDL/Verilog can't necessarily work if it doesn't map to the hardware platform you're writing for. So you need to actually understand the structures of an FPGA - LUTs, Registers, DSPs and Memories. Once you know what you're writing you're 90% of the way there. Real FPGA devs spend months in simulators before they get to actually hardware test. The simulator will allow you to do things that the compiler will warn you about and the hardware will simply do wrong. Each compiler (modelsim, Vivado, Quartus, VCS etc.) will have a unique interpretation of the language you're using.
Finally, in terms of tools, use whatever comes with your dev kit, but in terms of simulators Modelsim is industry standard and Intel (Altera) ships a free version.
I don't really have advise for learning material- I learnt at Uni.