From what I see, the 'true analytics' available are exactly the same as what I'm getting already. The data's available from my current service to download raw if I want to export it to another analytics platform anyway. I already have (free!) public status pages, as do most competitors' offerings, so it's not another service.

I don't mean to shit on your product, it's good! I think you need to be clearer about why I should pay quite so much more for it. At the moment it doesn't seem worth it by a long shot. If you plan to build the platform out into something more featureful, then say that, and give early adopters a discount (so that they're not paying more for services which are currently equivalent). Uptime Robot has been around for 8 years, and they're still giving out early-adopter discounts!