Then it's not a standup. Maybe you can find another way to achieve the same aim, or maybe Scrum isn't suited to remote workplaces (I don't have enough experience either way) - if someone had tried to follow agile practice in a remote environment and found it doesn't work there, that could be criticism I'd be interested in hearing. But I just never get the sense that someone has actually engaged with Agile and found it wanting[1]; it always seems to come down to something like them: "Agile sucks" me: "What's wrong with it?" them: "We have this mandatory Agile meeting that everyone involved in agrees is pointless", just some criticism of something that has nothing in common with Agile except for both being a process.
> What about managers that fall into injecting themselves into every standup? Hard to fix that, hard to eject your manager from a meeting, and its a likely state that becomes the inevitable end point (see Markov Chain).
I haven't experienced managers in standups being a problem, but taking it as given that it is for you: if you're saying that you can't fix that then aren't you essentially saying that any process that your organization adopts will inevitably fail (unless you adopt a process with no meetings at all, which has other problems)? Agile gives you every possible explicit opportunity to fix the broken things in your process, including a regular dedicated meeting that's devoted solely to doing that; if your organization is incapable of doing that then I'm not sure what could ever work.
[1] Not actually true; there is a group of people who prefer more up-front planning and tend to give a quite different genre of critique. But they also tend to be more measured and don't frame it as a problem with agile as such.