>In my case, I felt that I desperately wanted to work hard, but getting into a state of flow was rare, and as deadlines approached I often felt like I was pushing an unstable boulder uphill, like Sisyphus. I felt so guilty, even though I love my field. In my case, it turned out to be anxiety issues (though everyone is different!)
Interesting, I think I too share this "state of mind", so to speak. Sometimes I think more about how I should be working instead of doing whatever that when I actually get to do "work" I don't do it "properly" or "adequately" because I am simply "anxious" and the only thing I can think about is simply not fucking up instead of doing what should be done, just working. Hopefully that's your "similar" problem, however couple that with depression and laziness and you've got a recipe for failure like me ;)
But it's great that going to the psychologist helped you out.
I'm gonna assume you're American because the rule of thumb is to assume everyone is American on the English Internet by default because statistically it's more likely to be true and say that going to the psychologist is probably like more accepted there than here? Like here in Spain it took a little bit of convincing or "thinking" for my "public healthcare" doctor to assign me to a psychologist so IDK. Either way, great!
>It sounds like you're testing several avenues, friend. By the way, I think you're selling yourself short; you're a great communicator, especially for someone writing in a non-native language.
_Makes random mistake while writing, gets over-anxious about it as a consequence of being praised for (etc..)_ :)
Hahaha, thanks. That's what you get as a reward for years and years of Introversion spending lots of time alone reading and commenting on reddit and more recently (over the last year or so) on HN and watching YouTube content in English everyday hahaha :)
My parents are also from Ukraine, and in my part of Spain the language commonly spoken "on the streets" is Catalan, so within the timespan of a day I always have to changee between and speak 5 different languages (Outside- > Catalan and Spanish, Computer-> English & Spanish, Family-> Ukrainian and Russian), sometimes even within a time frame of a minute, so I'm just used to "different languages" in general (sometimes I even wonder how do I not mix all of those 5 languages up and I've found that I tend to do that more at the spoken irl level, actually). But seriously, I am bad at math and that sucks for me :P
>Best of luck in your future endevours! :)
You too!