How do Finns flirt without smalltalk? Just jump straight to 'do you find me attractive?' and 'do you want to date?'
Though admittedly I used to work with an Irish guy whose sole chat-up line was 'are ye ridin?' and who had considerable success.
Though admittedly I used to work with an Irish guy whose sole chat-up line was 'are ye ridin?' and who had considerable success.
When I felt it was time for bed, we both went upstairs. I went to go to my room, on my own, and she said "no, we'll use my room". Or words to that effect. At no point, up till then, had it occurred to me there was anything between us. Just friends getting drunk.
No idea if this is typical but it was a very pleasant surprise to my teenage self.
It seemed to work for them. Actually talking to a girl also worked if I remember correctly.
As much as smalltalk is unneeded in everyday life, having a script that brings out some general background ("so what do you do?", "are you from around here?", "how do you know {host}?") does help when strangers are looking for common ground where they can talk more deeply.
You do both of those and then you sneak to someone and ask them anything. It might well be "how do you know the host?" But Finns are quite flexible with the subjects because there is no culture of what you ought to speak about. You can ask anything, you don't have to ask anything. But do expect to get a throughout and honest answer.
It's great if you're imaginative and curious or if you want to be left alone. But if you fall in the middle it can get difficult.
Bullshit questions that you ask in hopes of stumbling into something interesting to talk about (ie how well do you know the host) is the essence of smalltalk.
We just continue starting with the useless questions even if we already have an actual topic to work with ;)
PS we don't believe in smalltalk... :)