One of the common traits is an inability to access higher-order cognitive functions such as empathy and being unaware of their inability to do so. This often means they're in a chronic state of anxiety and confusion because the intentions of others make no sense. Conflating empathy for low affect feelings of sympathy while assuming an identity of the most empathetic and most sympathetic person in the world, maybe even thinking they're HSP. Here's one way you can find out and discover to what extent that's factoring into the mix.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where they are behaving contrary to what you would expect, don't assume malice. Make sure you carefully and clearly articulate your feelings and perspective, have them voice their concerns, and then ask them to rearticulate what you just said. Ask them to put into their own words what you are thinking and feeling, to rearticulate what your perspective is and why. Ask them to explain the cause and effect of their actions. And then shut up and let them answer, see what happens. Pay close attention to how they respond, to what extent they can empathise even if it's just simply repeating back what you said. You both may be shocked -- them by the question, you by the response -- but it'll be an enlightening experience. And after a time or two of that, at least you'll know where you are.

That sounds like that could stem from discomfort being within oneself, in their body or with their emotions and thoughts, so needing to keep the mind active/distracted.