Ask HN: What gives you self-confidence? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What gives you self-confidence?

2 pointsomosubi5 comments

How did you gain self confidence if you lacked it when young or lost it along the way?

I was very unconfident growing up. I had big ears and was the shortest kid in class until my later teen years. I used humour as a defence mechanism (class clown) but this doesn't work in adult life. When I got into the world of work I threw myself into learning and becoming the best at everything I did and soon became a subject matter expert in computer viruses - this was back in the early 1990's when AntiVirus software was born. Being the expert meant that when I was in a room with potential customers I had something they wanted - experience of this new threat and knowledge of how to deal with it. Put yourself in the position where you have something really valuable to offer and then learn to accept people asking you for help. This will really boost your morale and confidence. Re-invent yourself this way whenever you feel your knowledge or skills becoming commonplace and your will never look back.

My self confidence arises from sufficient preparation. I maintain a checklist of daily essential activites that align with my long-term goals. I accomplish these early in the morning before leaving for work. They take two to three hours to complete. After completing these I feel accomplished and confident. Even if the rest of the day is unproductive due to meetings at work, at least I have the inner satisfaction of knowing that I still made progress in the things that matter the most to me.

Interesting, would you mind sharing what some of these activities entail?

At first, I identified my writing as the skill I needed to improve the most. I started off writing prompts of a few hundred words. My skills progressed until I researched and wrote articles of a thousand words each morning. I did this for approximately eight months.

Once satisfied with my writing, I transitioned to learning a foreign language. Every morning, I read new concepts in a textbook, listened to audio recordings online, and practiced activities on language apps (Duolingo, Memrise, and Rosetta Stone). Over a period of fourteen months, my proficiency with the language improved substantially.

These days, I dedicate my mornings to programming projects. I've been working on my current project for about three months. I dedicate each morning to improving one component of the project. I would say that around half of the time is spent researching concepts, a quarter of the time is spent implementing the learned concepts, and the final quarter developing my own code.

I allocate approximately two hours to learning new concepts each morning. In the evening I review old concepts for an hour. I understand that this is difficult for those who work long hours or who have families, however, I have found this strategy to be effective in maintaining my self-confidence.

Confidence arises when one manifests their self-perception in such a way as to attract those around them. Various fears and especially the mind may incumber this phenomenon. However, it may be controlled when moved, ideally of one's own free will, to an environment in which we feel free to express our true thoughts and desires.

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