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Comment by stuxnet79 | Hacker News Reader

I found out about this from reading Blood, Sweat and Pixels [1]. What really struck me about this whole story is the fact that his partner was able to support him for the entire duration he was working on the game (close to half a decade). That's a tough sell for any relationship, and if you ask me the real hero of this story is his partner who believed in him enough to support him all the way to the end. I would love to be in that kind of relationship.

[1] https://kotaku.com/i-wrote-a-book-about-the-making-of-unchar...

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I read the same book. Came away from the chapter on SDV thinking, "Wow, I'd be divorced if I'd tried that." That's some unbelievable love and commitment, and I'd say he's quite a lucky man.

> That's a tough sell for any relationship, and if you ask me the real hero of this story is his partner who believed in him enough to support him all the way to the end.

I'm very surprised you feel that way. It's actually the other way around in my experience. I personally am and know many 30 something couples where one partner has a steady mid to high income job and the other partner is going for a moonshot starting up. It you can afford to support your partner taking a shot like that, why wouldn't you?

Because you’re sinking a huge amount of money into someone’s passion project, for which you may or may not have received equity before being broken up with. Being able to afford something is not a binary situation in which “yes” means you should do it unconditionally.

It is possible to support a partner without treating them as an investment

Hmm context matters I guess... folks I'm referring to have generally been together for a decade... So they may have a somewhat different take on relationship.

Wow... no. You're committed to a life with someone and want them to be happy because their happiness is your happiness. Money is way less important than being happy in life with someone.

But this is about marriages or similar commitment, not "before being broken up with", and also not "unconditional", you need to think it's good for your partner too.

Replying to self: I meant “unconditionally” as in without consideration of other factors — not meaning to imply that conditions should be attached to the money.

I agree with earlier comments about this coming off sexist: if genders were turned, would you say a husband was the 'real hero' behind his wife's business success?

By the way, he had more support - started the game in 2011, published it to greenlight on Sep 2012, got a publisher in 2013... (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stardew_Valley#Development)

1. Agreed - supporting your partner through weeks and months is one thing; but half a decade is a whole relationship in itself. It is a tremendous commitment on both sides.

2. Great book and I can wholeheartedly recommend it; on one hand it's stories on video game industry and its characters - on the other hand it's a primer on complex project management as well.

Well, let's be honest here; it really depends on the job she has, for example if she is an anesthesiologist is exponentially easier to support her partner than if she has a low-paying job like barista or something alike.

it's not only about the money young fella. A long and uncertain project without any income like that is a tough sell for any relationship.

You say it's not about the money, but then you mention income again. What is it about then?

Lots of things - ambition, status, judgement from others, resentment that you’re not able to do the same.

Money is probably a prerequisite to being able to do that at all, but it’s not the entire deal.

>it's not only about the money

Yes, I saw that. But saying something like that and then mentioning nothing but money (income) is a little confusing.

Even anesthesiologists need quality time with this partner

A friend of mine quit his job as a software developer to become a full time dance music producer— his girlfriend is a doctor, though, so it wasn’t a huge burden to support him for the three years it took for him to start getting paid.

Agreed. Would have been nice to hear a little more from her in this piece. While I deeply admire Eric for his incredible talent and follow-through, his partner must have gone through hell to facilitate his ambitions.

> his partner must have gone through hell to facilitate his ambitions.

Concerning the financial side of this, I think "must have" is a bit of an overstatement. A family with one or more children is often supported by a single income (and, from my recollection of reading "Blood, Sweat and Pixels", I don't think it mentions them having children, though I could be wrong).

Not at all trying to diminish what she did, however!

Depending on where they live, a single income family is perfectly reasonable.

Do the spouses of stay at home wives go through hell too? If there was enough income to have only one wage earner then it wasn't hell.

It's not just income though- people like to spend at least some time with their partners, and from the article:

"Eric’s duties as partner had slipped drastically behind his personal ambition to perfect the game. He guiltily recognizes Amber felt lonelier and lonelier as he pushed on, but he did little to address it—he still worked 12 hours a day on the game, often going straight from his desk to the theater for an evening shift."

This is an entirely different level than a stay at home spouse. The article mentions he worked part time during this period, and that his girlfriend is currently attending college. So this is not a situation of a sole income earner, but rather a man so obsessively dedicated to a project that it consumed nearly all aspects of his life.

They do if they end up divorced. If you are earning enough money to support your spouse, guess what? If you get divorced, you get to continue doing that!

You will support your spouse directly via alimony, usually for a period half the length of your marriage, but if you were married 10 years or longer, this does not apply and there may be no set end to alimony. Mine was $1800 per month for 4 years.

I have 40% shared custody of my kids (they actually spend more non-school hours with me, but I digress) and still have to pay $1700 per month in child support, because (at least in CA) you are required to maintain the same standard of living as the children had during the marriage.

It may not be about income and finances during the marriage, but if it goes wrong, and you are the one that has been providing the support, prepare to swallow some very bitter pills.

Many families only have a single income. It's not rare or extraordinary.