On of the most succesful EU businesses (spotify) does not seem to support the assertion that VAT is a undue burden. Also I don't know if spotify uses their own tech or if they are uses stuff from another vendor.
Do also remember that all your competitors are bound by the same rules, so from a purely economical standpoint prices in a given country with VAT will just appear x% higher accross the board, and then the real question is more of disposable income.
To be perfectly honest I am no expert in VAT, but I do know that a country like Denmark with 25 % VAT is also ranked in the top 5 countries to do business in.
Also don't know what you mean by "As a business you stll have to buy stuff to recover VAT" but oh well maybe you can clarify.