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Vacuum tube machines computed with more pleasing harmonics, resulting in the output having a richer, warmer sound.

And we all know that germanium is waaaaay better than silicon in your diodes and transistors.

I just installed a germanium Dallas-Arbiter Fuzzy Logic unit, and boy did I ever see some benchmark improvements

Oh, God, "germanium Dallas-Arbiter Fuzzy" isn't just word salad ...

I'm dying over here ...

How much HP exactly? If I put one in my Civic does it mount on the trunk-wing bleacher seat spoiler or to the muffler resonator tip?

And have you ever tried to compute the "Pride and Joy" algorithm using a silicon-based computer? Exercise in futility, to say the least.