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Comment by sixdimensional | Hacker News Reader

I have 18 years of experience in software development and engineering. Due to my concern that I wouldn't make it doing anything else, I've stayed stuck in the technical path.

Let me just say that after at least 10 years of routine 10-12 hour days and occasional weekend work, I think maybe you made a better decision than I did.

I make less than industry rates working for a large corporation and you'd be shocked by how much pressure and technical responsibility I have as one person. And no matter what I do to try to get help, the burden stays on me because it's perceived that "I can handle it".

So again, maybe you made a better decision.

Out of curiosity, what do you do instead?

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> I make less than industry rates working for a large corporation and you'd be shocked by how much pressure and technical responsibility I have as one person. And no matter what I do to try to get help, the burden stays on me because it's perceived that "I can handle it".

Why don't you find another job then? If you're making below market wages, you should be able to find another employer to pay you about the same for a much more relaxed work environment.

I suffer from imposter syndrome, for one. Even with the experience I have, I never feel good enough. Also, I frequently get stuck working hard to the point of burn out at a place and then don't have the energy to find the next thing. Also, come out exhausted from the current gig, not motivated for the next one.

I think partially, the market where I am, employers are quite greedy and it can be difficult to find places that have good work/environments and the higher pay. It's a bit of a tradeoff, choose one or the other. It's been getting better as more cutting edge companies have moved to the area over the years, but still, the good stuff happens elsewhere.

I tried to get career counseling before to get some help, however, they recommended I start my own business rather than continue to look for a traditional job.

I know that would be a hard road (been through several startups already). I'm not afraid of the hard work, I just have some familial limitations that make it infeasible at the moment (trying to adopt).

That said, your point is well taken, and my friends and colleagues often recommend the same. I'm not sure if I'm an optimist and keep hoping the place I'm at will recognize and reward my contribution (unlikely), or I'm some kind of work sado-masochist. Not sure!

If I were you, I'd focus first on reducing workload to manageable level.

Every single aspect of your life and work is hurt by you being overworked right now. You effectively say so in your comments.

Talk to management and bring the workload under control.

This is a must in my opinion.

After that, you'll have the energy to either find a new job, or get along in the current one.

You're not doing your employer or (especially) yourself any favors by burning out.

I have certainly tried, with quite a lot of effort, to get more resources. The company is going through a lot of change right now, so the request is a bit lost in the chaos. It's partially due to the change that workloads are so imbalanced- hoping for things to change. Also, everyone here is right too, I have been trying to change myself for a long time now. Getting better but it has been a difficult process.

Maybe creating a log of the work you do would give you some measurable objective points for your own self worth? I did that at my last place to establish their PIP was pretextual. It kept me around long enough to find the next place. But it also built my self confidence - by having an undeniable, immutable recount of my work. I’d keep a running log each shift and email it to myself at the end. Everything time stamped, dated, summarized, and relevant documents included.

IT support and now sys admin/engineering stuff.

You're right. I was good at that for a while, but eventually I started juggling so many different things that it became too time consuming to write it down. I also tried using timetracking, like ManicTime, and that was helpful for passive tracking.

Employers will take everything you're willing to give. You have to set boundaries. I used to work twice as hard over a weekend to meet a deadline. I then worked with people who, confidently, stated "Sorry, If you want to meet that deadline we need more resources." They would also simply not work weekends. If work didn't get done, it didn't get done.

This is obviously where imposter syndrome comes into play. If you're confident in your ability, you aren't scared you will be fired or let go for standing up for yourself.

You either set boundaries for yourself, and manage your managers expectations and resources or they will pick your expectations and resources. You have to pick one, and I don't blame the business for taking him for a ride.

It's true, the business is aware of what they can get out of me. That makes it difficult to "take back" now. I don't entirely blame them either, although it's frustrating.

You're frustrated because you're the sole reason why it's happening. Set boundaries and you should be fine. Walk out of the job on time, and get a new phone number and a phone with a dual sim.

Ironically, I've started to worry less about being let go and that does embolden me to actually take some risks and say no. However, thus far, I earned the reputation of just not dropping the ball.

It was recommended to me before, to just let things fall as they may. That part is super difficult for me. I don't like to let things fail.

That said, your advice is an area I need to continue to work on for sure. Thank you for the suggestions.

> 18 years of experience

> make less than industry rates

> trying to adopt

Let me turn this around for you: if you want to take care of the kid, you need to take care of yourself. And that includes your finances and your mindset, both of which will be imposed on the child. Perpetuate the cycle or break free. I'm not saying start a business. I'm saying get to the other side of average compensation.

I can't disagree with you here. I'm definitely trying to change that mindset to get to the other side of average pay. I'm actually surprised by how many at my company are in the same boat.

Thanks for the advice. Certainly, the kid will come first over work. The rest needs to support that!

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