The author uses a silly definition of rebel, which nobody realistically uses (precisely because there are no thus-defined "rebels"). As a result, the article is rather inconsequential.
Also, there are good reasons to park next to the first car in the lot. One side of car is "protected" for at least a time and the first person probably parked close to the entrance/exit. Although if the first car is very beat up, I'll avoid it out of the guess that if they don't care about their own car, they probably care even less about hitting mine while getting in.