I don’t presume to know what the original intention of bitcoin was, I’m only interested in it’s current viability as an investment. My goalposts are - and have always been - is it likely I can sell this later for a healthy profit?

Sounds like you’ve got a bone to pick with some ideology I’m not privy to.

And to your point - bitcoin doesn’t need to solve a crisis to be useful! It just needs to be useful to be useful.