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Comment by androidgirl | Hacker News Reader

Depression.

I have a lot of social anxiety and I feel really isolated, my best friend passed two years ago which didn't make anything better.

Isolation makes depression into a feedback loop, and it feels like you keep sinking deeper and deeper.

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Have you tried yoga? It's kinda like Apple, but instead of just working, it just solves (almost) everything. If you can find a good studio and hang on to it, that might help. Also, I'd recommend Vinyasa, or Ashtanga, or any dynamic variant. Not slow yoga, I feel like it doesn't help letting go as much. Hang in there!

Hey I'd suggest going out and just walking around/wandering in peaceful and sometimes semi-crowded places. I find that it

Also more scientifically, the vitamin D probably helps[0] (there are more recent papers so do some searching), and exposure to people probably helps[1] -- you can be in a situation with people around, but you're not required to interact with them. Eventually I get the feeling that you'll venture out little by little with a more interaction to spice up the walks.

[0]: https://www.spectracell.com/media/uploaded/5/0e3256693_14009...

[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exposure_therapy

I highly recommend going to see a therapist.

I second the therapist. But in addition to that I'd also suggest trying a martial art. Depending on where you live you may have more or less choice in terms of style/school/"hardness"... see what looks fine for you and try it (martial art schools tend to have family/friendship connotations so this would help with isolation too).

In any case, therapist first.

I did therapy, martial arts and high speed sports like MX and skiing. Now I just know how to live with depression, it's easy if you learn how not to kill yourself and have friends that enjoy your cynicism.

I can so specifically relate to this struggle. I One year ago I lost my best friend of 32 years, and while I have struggled with depression on and off my whole life, it has now become turbo charged. There is something particularly sobering in the context of one's mortality when you lose someone close, and whose life mirrors your's in many ways. I just wanted to say to hang in there, and when at all possible, if someone invites you somewhere, make yourself go, even if you really don't want to. Sometimes, the body needs the physical activities of non-depressed behavior to kick itself out of it's rut. Such delicate beings we are- electrical and chemical. The pain of loss never goes away, but you will adapt to it and thrive again.

I used to have a lot of social anxiety. For me the cure was forcing myself to go out. I started with really geeky meetups where I didn't find anyone intimidating and we all shared common interests. It was really hard, I felt like I had so many failures, I had anxiety every single time I went, I had times when I felt I was improving then times when I felt I was reverting backwards.

Accept that there will be failures, but know that you're making progress because of those failures. Force yourself out and get social exposure. It will eventually almost entirely fade away.

Certainly do therapy if that makes sense to you and spend some time to find a therapist that really connects with you. One thing that has helped me meet people is becoming a "regular" at my local coffee shop. Not only do the baristas know me but I've gotten to know some of the other regulars over time. It's nice because you can have a chat without a lot of expectation or stress.

I read "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" recently and think this book can help you.

Zoloft... I use Zoloft and it has literally changed everything. I'm happier, easier to get along and things are better controlled

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