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Comment by shawn | Hacker News Reader

The sooner we get rid of the emotion, the better, probably. It’s a bit like arguing that chronic back pain is healthy just because it’s natural.

It’s interesting to consider that technology might be able to solve this. How long till an anti love pill hits the market with few side effects?

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> The sooner we get rid of the emotion, the better, probably.

Let's look at how this plays out in the real world. Someone gets dumped because they were a terrible partner. We hope that the pain of loss motivates them to do better in their next relationship. They briefly feel bad, but start using the technique of "negative reappraisal" (the more common term is "blaming the other person"). This rapidly decreases their distress in the short term, but it also makes them avoid looking at their behavior and making changes, so they make the same mistakes in their next relationship, and the cycle repeats.

Perhaps both of you are right in your own way.

It is important and valuable to take time to reflect on how your behavior may have led to the negative outcome and think about how you could better yourself for the future - but take care not to be too self critical!

Many people spend too much time in self pity and sadness over this kind of loss (I'm certainly guilty of this). Once you've done the necessary self-reflection - please start to move on. Hanging on to idealized memories of "we" takes you down a road of pain and not towards the future. Let it go. If "negative reappraisal" helps you let go - when you are ready - so much the better.

Life is short, and your best "dating years" are an even shorter span of time - use them wisely - find someone worthy of you and enjoy your time together.

Going back to the back pain analogy--maybe it's the difference between taking painkillers to manage the pain rather than attempting to address the cause (posture).

Given your analogy, perhaps you mean to say, "negative emotion"? Because I think a better match for removing emotion altogether would be arguing that removing the ability to walk is healthy because you might trip and fall.

I should say as well, "negative emotion, for some definition of negative".

It's disappointing to see this downvoted just because people disagree with it. I feel these emotions are an absolutely essential aspect of being human, and it seems the downvoters agree, but I'd rather see a discussion of why.

At least in my case, I'm tired of the endless attempts some would make to use tech to eliminate aspects of being human. Heartbreak sucks, but it also tends to be a valuable life lesson in my experience.

It's interesting to apply this argument to those who lost limbs and want to use prosthetics. Does it make sense? Why or why not?

(I'm not sure, but the answer doesn't seem so clear-cut.)

I should clarify that I mean the emotional/existential aspects of being human, rather than the physical aspects - using a prosthetic helps with the very real problems of having a physical disability. I suppose you could argue that everything boils down to physical aspects with brain chemistry and whatnot, but that's getting into the philosophical weeds a bit.

Imagine the situation were reversed -- when people broke up they didn't get heartbroken, but you could take a pill to make yourself probably feel like crap for months or years after.

Imagine how difficult it would be to convince people in that universe to take that pill after a serious breakup -- that it would be a "valuable life lesson". I don't think I could make a compelling case for it, to be honest.

Long time.

"Love", in whatever form or meaning you want to take, (AFAIK/IMO) involves far to many systems for anything other than a systemic approach to have an effect (without sever side effects).

I think we already have it, basically.

I suspect you're not going to fall for that attractive stranger if your sympathetic nervous system is calmed down by beta-blockers.

Yeah, but, what are the side effects of that?

How does one go about getting one's hands on such things?

Chronic back pain is a signal about your ergonomic habits.

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