> you cannot deny that the influence you have as a parent

for sure, I agree with you.

It seems to me that it is better to make conclusions looking at grown adults and families in total - like you did with your in-laws.

I just wanted to say there might be a tendency to look at screaming (or in this case, it would be anxious) kids and generalize and criticize their parents for bad parenting skills / inability to deal with kids / whatever; meanwhile, it's not their fault. Just good to remember that.

(Edits: minor formatting)