2007
  High school acquaintance: Join us on facebook!
  Me: What for? So you can treat me like shit like you did in high school?

  2008
  Cousin: Join us on facebook, so you can stay in touch.
  Me: Why don't you just tell me what's happening like you always have?
 Then we can shoot the shit and laugh and talk and gossip, just us two, like we always have?

  2009
  Neighbor: Why don't you join our community group on facebook so you can see what's going on?
  Me: I'll just pay my dues and spend my time on what's really important to me.

  2010
  Work associate: Why don't you work at facebook? Everywhere else is lame.
  Me: Because lots of other places are doing cool stuff that really matters.

  2011
  Friend: I can't believe you're still not on facebook. Everyone is!
  Me: Your 2 sentences contradict each other.

  2012
  Me: Why didn't you invite me to your wedding?
  Fraternity brother: Because you're not on facebook.
  Me: Lame. And classless.

  2013
  Sister-in-law: Your business cannot succeed unless it has a presence on facebook.
  Me: Really? I just had my best year ever.

  2014
  Local business: See what we're up to on facebook.
  Me: I just go somewhere with their own website.

  2015
  Me: Why didn't you answer my emails?
  Friend: Why didn't you just message me?
  Me: What's that?

  2016
  Work friend: How do you manage to get so damn much work done?
  Me: Because I'm not spending hours every day on facebook on my phone.
  I'm too busy building stuff.

  2017
  Business guru: A following on facebook is not nearly as effective as a good email list.
  There's too much noise for the signal.
  Me: You don't say?

  2018
  Almost everyone: What have we done?!?
  facebook is ruining everything!
  Our privacy is gone! How do we get off?
  Me: I get off every day. The old fashioned way.