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I find that the best approach is to talk to them first, explain your use case, ask them how to solve the problem.

Most of the time you will either be welcomed for your proper obsequence, or find out that there's a jealous guardian of that code and no matter what you do it won't alleviate that tension anyway.

Yep, always talk to the person who made a WTF-inducing change. It's even possible they've thought of something you didn't.

You don't need to undo the abstraction, just opt out: Fork the shared artifact and modify or rewrite the copy (prune useless parts) as you need.

Opportunity for leadership. Explain to them that you are not your code. That code is never done, and like writing, it can improve with each draft. Also, what specific behavior of theirs makes you feel like they are yelling (raised voice, standing close, interrupting). People aren't perfect, but we can help each other get closer.