Microsoft, why have you forsaken me so

This is a bit of a rant so excuse me if it comes across as disjointed but I needed something cathartic before I threw myself out the window.

So far this morning I have been asked to join a skype call. I am on a new laptop so I said "give me ten minutes I just need to download Skype."

1 hour later and I am still no closer to joining said skype call. The issue is that I need to use a certain account to join this call and so I Googled "Download Skype for Business". Microsoft then welcomed me into their labyrinth of confusing Skype versions, Microsoft Accounts, Office 365, Office 2017. After being told I don't have a Microsoft Account despite being logged into Outlook (What is a Microsoft Account?), and Skype already being logged into some other account on my laptop, I managed to find an installer.

So, I managed to find what Microsoft calls a "Skype for Business Basic stand-alone client", which is actually a trojan horse armed to the teeth with Microsoft products I don't want or need. So now I have a installer which was supposed to just be for Skype For Business Basic running for the last twenty minutes downloading on a mobile network at 6mb/s. I don't actually know what it is downloading. I assume it is downloading Office. It won't die. Wait... when did 'End Task' stop working? Why does the cross minimise the installer?

Why is this so difficult? What is actually downloading? Do I have a Microsoft Account? If I don't why can I login to Outlook. Is a Office 365 account not a Microsoft Account? Why can't I login to pre-installed Skype with this account?

I have no power here, I am not the captain of this ship anymore.

Oh no... data running out... send help....