This ArenaNet situation sounds interesting. Could you post a link to it? I don't see much in search results.
https://www.theverge.com/2018/7/12/17565218/arenanet-guild-w...
https://www.polygon.com/2018/7/10/17550276/guild-wars-2-aren...
https://www.pcgamer.com/fired-arenanet-dev-calls-dismissal-a...
In short, a woman working at ArenaNet, the company running GuildWars2 (an MMORPG), posted a twitter thread about her thoughts on designing narratives in an MMO. A prominent (male) streamer of the game responded with his opinion, which (as he stated) was a disagreement of her point of view. To this, the ArenaNet employee expressed her opinion that the streamer was explaining to her how to do her job, and implied he was doing this because she is a woman.
Quite predictably the exchange exploded into a shitstorm of epic proportions, which supernovaed when ArenaNet responded to the incident by firing the employee.
I think the response by the community at large to the woman's firing is despicable, and the firing was probably not justified. But, I have been thinking a lot about the words of the exchange, and how much of a clusterfuck the situation is. The exchange itself is, in my opinion, not black and white. To be fair, I say this as a guy, so it's entirely possible that I Just Don't/Can't Get It. I accept that and am happy to be pushed back on.
The words:
>ArenaNetEmployee: {{29 tweet thread discussing character writing in MMOS}}
>Streamer: "Really interesting thread to read! However, allow me to disagree slightly. I don't believe the issue lies in the MMORPG genre itself..."
>ArenaNetEmployee: "Today in being a female game dev: "Allow me--a person who does not work with you--explain to you how you do your job."" {{quotes streamer}}
I feel like this whole shitstorm could have been avoided if the streamer had hedged just a bit better, or instead had asked her opinion. Basically, in the discussion, setting her up as the expert (which she is), while still expressing an opposed position. This is basically what hedging does anyway.
It might be a bit hard to swallow, though. Who's to say that a streamer is less qualified to analyze character writing in MMOs? After all, the writer is usually not the one impacted by the game. Streamers are.
I know nothing about this situation, though. </hedge> I'm just saying that it would personally feel difficult to adopt this mindset if I felt like I were qualified to express a dissenting opinion.
To your second point, that's another thing I think a lot about. Honesty, in its many forms. I value honesty tremendously, because how can two individuals (or a community) operate in good faith if people are being dishonest with each other? However... we are irrational. When I was a recruiter, going to a company with my candidate's actual rate, and then turning around and giving my candidate the actual offer, would lead to bad tastes on both sides. Instead, I'd lie to the company, tellm my candidate was asking for more, then then around and tell the candidate that the offer was less than what they were looking for. Then I'd let both parties stew for a bit, give the candidate a call back, and lo and behold I got them an extra five bucks an hour like magic (citing the actual offer). Then, both parties would feel they had really gotten the most possible value out of the transaction and be happier for it.
So then what do you do in interpersonal communication? Are you upfront and honest about your feelings regarding your qualifications? Do you state your opinions forthright, while still being polite? Or do you "play the game?"
I guess it boils down to your values. If you want to consistently be liked more, listened to more, and "get your way" more, you heed the wisdom of the ancients and do the Dale Carnegie. Even if it hurts.
In my experience though, it stops hurting very quickly. Turns out a lot of the times I was confidence in how right I was, I was way off base... And I usually end up learning something by seeing things from the opponent's perspective.
What is often overlooked, is that in communication you are first an employee of a company, and your own opinions and feelings come way later.
As is clear in this example, not everybody can do this (all of the time).
She is certainly entitled to this opinion. But as an employee, she should not have expressed it. Most likely the company didn't reflect on this before allowing/encouraging her to use twitter to communicate.
I'm speculating that the company didn't have a communication strategy to contain a shit storm. And in the end just fired the employee. Firing the employee only makes sense if she has a history of causing the kinds of issues.
Again, just my personal opinion.
If you find a live claymore in the middle of the company meeting room, exploding it can be avoided by circumspect behavior.
If that's all you do about it, you might as well start calling it "boss".
If you start making silly things about gender than the real problems gets lost and you hurt the cause that you are trying to promote. The subsequent twitter posts doesn't read good to me either. But some of the backlash against her was equally or probably even more so outrageous. The anonymity and distance that social media gives it users seem to in general bring out the worst in people except for rare exceptions.
1) The day before there was a big AMA where players and developers talked about the story design, initiated and organized by the game studio. The fired developer was a prominent figure in the discussions, and the twitter thread was seen by most as an further extension to that AMA. People can have different opinion about this, but its important to know the context of when the twitter thread appeared.
2) The initial response by the community at large was both on reddit and on the official Guild Wars 2 Forum to not fire anyone. It was only later unearthed that the developer had also celebrated when cancer victim John Bane died at age 33. At this point many have pointed out that the community changed view and could no longer support having such individual in the community, and a massive thread called something like "Developers should also have to follow Anet own conduct policy" was created.
Hedging is useful, but there is some lines which companies and communities are unlikely to accept. Celebrating the death of cancer victims is one, and is likely not something any one want to be associated with. The second aspect is to not responding to art criticism with labeling the person as sexist to 10k followers, which given the close connection to Anet organized AMA and the fact that their name is directly next to the message could make Anet legal liable for slander. Third, game developer is closely connected to community management and there is a good reason why conduct policies exist and get enforced. One could argue in defense that twitter is "personal" and out of the conduct policy scope, but that is very much up to discussion and it seems that the guild wars 2 community is generally in favor that such policy do cover developers talking about the game on social media, especially in connection to community events.