Boy, you said it there: "do it
my way", as well as the "wait (long) while I start up" that IDEs are so guilty of.
That said, sometimes I use NetBeans (and sometimes I don't). I was using Eclipse for a few years, but I got so tired of the setup and wait. Of course, there is probably a newer, less sucky, version of Eclipse now, who knows.
NetBeans is fast enough on my netbook (Atom, 1.6 GHz w/ 1 GB RAM) for most little projects I tinker with (at least under Linux), and likewise on employer's workstation with real stuff (even using the mandated Windoze). The edit window is mostly responsive soon after start, though it may take a minute for rescan to finish so docs, jump-to-def and autocomplete to be available.
Also, I like that you can undock the edit window in Netbeans, putting it in its own relatively large stand-alone window. Throw in the "vi" plugin, and get to work, referencing the other window full of, um, crap, only when you really need it. I guess I shouldn't call the integrated debugger "crap", but much of the other stuff is :-)
I have some screen shots on my website of several file types, where I have undocked the editor and hierarchy widget. Playable for me, YMMV.
http://roboprogs.com/devel/2009.09.html
Also, its easy enough to create a project with "external" (existing) sources, rather than the IDE-p0wned build process. I usually end up creating one (1) IDE project for a given source base, then checking out source for multiple branches and then either resetting a sym-link (*nix file systems) or renaming (MS-brain-death) the top level directory for the branch-of-the-day.