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I hate to agree with you. This honesty/positivity dilemma is something I'm struggling with.

Occasionally people talk about the "compliment sandwich".

1. Focus on something going well. 2. By the way, could you fix this little thing? 3. Return to positive stuff.

This formula can be applied to delivering honesty amid positivity. Ideally whoever you're communicating is mature enough to just take honest feedback straight, but if they aren't then this can be a safe(r) way to deliver it.

This seemingly simple tactic, WORKS. It works even with mature folks. It is just harder to be angry when someone pads your ego or your mood even just a little bit. The 'compliment' does not even have to be direct or a compliment per se, it can even be something positive like news/results about the initiant or a third party. You are just pulling out some positive endorphin mojo, to slow down the angry mojo.

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