Philip Guo's "The Ph.D Grind: A Ph.D Student Memoir" is an amazingly well-written and sage chronicle of getting a Ph.D at Stanford from 2006-2012.
(no guarantees that i'll be able to answer via text, though; maybe i'll make a video later. been trying to minimize my computering time off-hours due to increasing wrist pains ... PSA: take care of your wrists, everyone!)
I know you had mentioned you could write a whole book on this, so I'm sure there's a lot to the story.
if you can't get on someone's critical path, then you have to make it very easy for them to help you with very little time commitment. e.g.,: http://pgbovine.net/how-to-ask-for-help.htm