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Comment by GordonS | Hacker News Reader

I'm from the UK, and I feel exactly the same way, so it's definitely not a non-English language thing - more of a US thing.

The inappropriate use and overuse of phrases such as "how are you doin' today?", "y'all have a great day!" etc are things that really get on my nerves when I'm in the US or deal with US customers. Why ask how I am. If you don't care? Why tell me to have a great day if you don't care?!

It's just all so infuriatingly fake!

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It may be "fake," but it's also being nice (i.e polite) to the other person by, if not extending to them an invitation, but at least giving them a chance to start an informal conversation with you, if they want. I find this an extremely civilized form of behavior - something that is not as often found in the rest of the world.

It's not civilized or polite, just an accepted dance to start a conversation. But if you think about it, personal questions from strangers is sort of rude and puts other person into a vulnerable position.

It is rudeness, but it's easier to be friendly when you are a bit rude. Politeness makes things more formal.

> but it's also being nice (i.e polite)

Well, I find it inpolite, offensive even, to literally pretend to care about how I am or how my day has been, and to waste my time by needlessly dragging out salutations.

>Why ask how I am. If you don't care?

British people use "How are you?" as a greeting too. Not sure what you're on about. It's a greeting not a genuine question.

Nah, Brits use "You ok?" or "Alright?" as a greeting. :P

When I lived in England I was very confused by this, because in the beginning I thought they were worried about me when they said “are you alright?”

Sometimes, but like another commenter said, it's generally more of a glib 'alrighty' or 'alreet?' (or 'fit like?' where I'm from), with no expectation of extending it beyond that - what I'm complaining about is the over-enthusiastic, positively dramatic 'how are YOU doing today?', with an expectation of actually dragging salutations out when neither side actually cares!

> 'how are YOU doing today?', with an expectation of actually dragging salutations out when neither side actually cares!

This isn't something I regularly encounter in the US, and I live in the South.

99% of the time I interact with a cashier, salesperson etc... I say "Hey how you doin?" and they say "Fine", or reply back with "How you doing?". Who are you interacting with that acts like this? Maybe they treat you differently because of your accent? Maybe they actually want to talk to you because of the novelty.

> Who are you interacting with that acts like this

The majority of the people I interact with - colleagues, customers, hotel staff, restaurant staff...

> Maybe they treat you differently because of your accent? Maybe they actually want to talk to you because of the novelty.

Huh, hadn't considered that. I'll try putting on an American accent next time, see if that holds them off ;)

> Why ask how I am. If you don't care? Why tell me to have a great day if you don't care?! It's just all so infuriatingly fake!

Try to think of it more like a protocol handshake, or a preamble to a conversation, than an exchange of content. It's a scripted way to begin talking. Weird socially scripted questions that are not necessarily intended to be taken literally seem to exist in most languages & countries.

'In most languages, this phrase is used more as a greeting or part of a greeting rather than as a enquiry about your health. The reply is often along the lines of "I'm well/fine, thank you, and you?"'

https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/howareyou.htm

Ah, now this I agree with - you do need a sort of verbal handshake before starting a fresh interaction with someone.

But... if you're writing a protocol you need it short and efficient - you don't drag it out to include 'salutations' soliciting all sorts of useless information you don't care about!

How about:

Person 1: fit like? (or 'alright?'/'alrighty?' if you prefer) Person 2: aye, grand (or 'yes, fine' if you prefer) Person 1: [INSERT ACTUAL CONVERSATION HERE]

Maybe I should write this up as an RFC...

Alright?

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