Thank you for sharing. I accept the first half of his argument, which is why I don't use certain words. However, Coates gives himself the freedom to use certain words he would not himself use in situ. The news article posted appears that there is a word that white people cannot utter in any context, even in describing why they don't use it.
I think his context is as a speaker on stage speaking in a meta way. Did he successfully predict audience reaction?
The speaker in your video used the word "faggot" the same way, with no intent to offend. How should he be punished?
The parent didn't ask for a link to a video, so a link to a video cannot be an answer to the question. Perhaps you could summarise or quote the part of the video that you believe answers the question.