Is this situation more or less dystopian?
Having your emotions manipulated such that you feel closer to your flight attendant means you may spend money on their airline like you're friends. But the truth will come out when the plane lands and you say "Hey, wanna go see a movie?" and they're horrified. The problem is that it's pretend w/ a cause. If it was just pretend and both were on board, it would be like children. If it was genuine, then all the better-- few things are better than genuine friendship.
If you don't know me, what does it mean? Maybe I'm terminally ill and every birthday is just a reminder of time running out. Or maybe I'm terminally ill and I don't care? How could someone know this without knowing me personally.
I guess that's a german culture thing. Don't try to be a friend unless you're willing to undersetand a person and support them even through bad times.
I would much prefer working at a place where people liked me, even if they had been hired because they were more likely to like everyone. But not if they become the sin eaters of the group because they produce no useful work, or they have no autonomy in what they do to raise morale.
The key is that forgiveness is primarily about (and, arguably, for the benefit of) the emotional state of the one granting the forgiveness.
It can be granted independent of any feelings of guilt (which are impossible to know for sure) on the part of the recipient.
Similarly, someone else's happiness about my birthday is irrelevant to me if I don't care about that someone, no matter how genuine that happiness is.