Using a more apples to apples comparison, pf is way simpler than iptables.
By bringing up UFW which is an iptables wrapper, you're not looking for a pf alternative so much as a pf wrapper. But it was the complexity of iptables that drove development of wrappers like UFW in the first place - pf doesn't really have the same level of need that iptables did.
Personally having used iptables and ipfilter I always thought pf was pretty simple.
I fully understand that Pf is equivalent to iptables, and is a lower level abstraction than UFW. But the question stands; Is there a simple foolproof utility for blocking ports on BSD with a single command? I just don't feel like whitelisting port 80 should require authoring a config file.
Yes. It is called pf.
block in on fxp0 proto tcp to any port { 25 80 }
block in on egress proto tcp to port { 25, 80 } block all
pass proto tcp to port www