No matter what is it you do, your girlfriend will tell people you’re ‘really really good with computers’. This is a universal truth. There is no way your girlfriend will be able to fully comprehend what you do.
How misogynistic! My girlfriend is an entrepreneur. She understands what I do perfectly well.
Learn to be mean. It’s not in our nature to be mean. We want to help everyone. But it’s exactly what you need when you don’t want to be pushed around. If you’re mean every once in a while, girls will stop seeing you as a usable object (see #7) and more as a potential partner that can equal them. This is the reason people tell you to learn to say no. Tip: playfully call them names every now and then.
Wtf? Why not slap her around while you're at it, I hear it teaches them females to pay proper respects and all. At least those of the author's species.