Make A Better Elevator Pitch

The tl;dr might be: sound like a human not a total douche.

I don't feel the credential based pitch can be replaced wholesale. Credentials matter and are effective because they communicate a great deal of information (often by assumption) in few words and also provide some social evidence. E.g. "Carl got his MBA at HBS." That instantly provides you with a (mostly positive) picture of Carl.

Aside: The best part of the article is the first comment.

Q: How do you know someone went to Harvard? A: They just told you.